Starting Over
by Ash8585
Summary: How did Michaela and Sully ever come together. This story takes us through the key moments in our favorite couples lives leading up to their courtship and into their actual relationship. Lots of insight into the past and their thoughts/feelings along the way.
1. Chapter 1

DQMW FF Ch. 1

Michaela looked out of the window of the jostling stage coach at the mountains that were coming into view. Her stomach had been twisted in a knot since she stepped off the train in Denver. Her journey had taken her clear across the country, and although she had heard descriptions of the "west" it was almost shocking to see it with her own eyes. The streets were dirt, unlike the cobblestone she was accustomed to. It was obvious that there had been a good amount of rain, because the dirt had turned to a thick mud. She was amazed at how no one seemed phased by the muck. The whole town appeared to be the same color, due to the layer of dust that settled on everything in its path. She was jolted out of her daydream as the stage bounced over a log in the road. Michaela had never been so battered. She felt as if her insides were going to bounce out of her skin at any moment. Trying desperately to get comfortable she concentrated on the landscape as it passed. Colorado was beautiful. There was no doubt about that, and as they neared her new home she felt a little like a child discovering a new place. She was startled to see a small group of Indians as they passed. Despite what she had been taught by her father; that all people deserved to be treated in the same way, without prejudice, they made her nervous. She had heard tales that the Indians were a savage group that did horrific things to people on the frontier. But knowing how even the people back home had once talked of the slaves in the same manner, she wondered if they were just misunderstood. This was one of the things Michaela loved most about her father; his kind heart towards people of all races and creeds. And she was glad to have been taught such tolerance.

Although her mother had not approved, Michaela felt like she had to get out on her own. After her father's passing she just couldn't stand to be in Boston anymore. "Boston…" she thought. "Father would have wanted me to continue on without him. That's just not an option in Boston."

You see, Michaela was a Doctor. Her father was a physician and from a young age had fashioned her as his apprentice. Now that he was dead there was nowhere for her to work save the poor house. And although Michaela devoted much of her time there, she couldn't make a living that way. No, she had to set out on her own. This is how she ended up in Colorado. She had answered an advertisement calling for Doctors needed in the small frontier town of Colorado Springs. After receiving a surprisingly quick and positive response she left her home and everyone she knew to set out on a new adventure. Her mother had begged for her not to go, saying that the frontier was an uncivilized place full of savages. But, Michaela had her mind set. So she bought a ticket on the first train out of Boston headed for St. Louis.

The stage rolling into town brought Michaela's mind back to the present and she shook away her nerves. If she was going to survive she would have to have her wits about her. She surveyed the small town and was pleased to see that there was a general store at least, and was thankful that she wouldn't have to ride to the next town for supplies. As she dismounted the stage she could feel the looks of several townspeople who were no doubt taking in her Boston apparel. Michaela made a note to buy new clothes as soon as possible. It had never occurred to her that her clothing just wouldn't be practical out here. She stepped out of the stage into a mud filled street. Wearing her best shoes had no doubt been a mistake. But, Michaela was determined not to look like a prissy lady from Boston. She needed to earn the townspeople's respect if she was to be their doctor. So, she took a deep breath and stepped up onto the porch of the general store. She turned and was faced with a grouchy older man who was no doubt the store owner.

"Pardon me. Where might I find Reverend Johnson?" she asked.

"Down at the church." He replied while giving her a once over. Loren had lived in Colorado Springs for most of his adult life, and he had never seen a woman like her. She appeared to be alone and Loren found himself wondering what a lady like her was doing way out here unchaperoned. He circled her wondering what she could possibly be doing here.

"May I leave my luggage there for just a little while?" She asked

"You mean, will it still be there when you get back?" Loren snarkily replied

"No, I was just…" she tried to explain

"We're not all thieves on the frontier miss." Loren said enjoying the way he made her squirm.

"No, of course not, I was just concerned that it might be in someone's way." She replied calmly

"Nope" Loren replied with a shake of his head.

Without realizing it, Michaela had already gathered an audience. Everywhere she looked people seemed to be staring at her, and she wasn't sure that she enjoyed the attention. However, determined to get settled as soon as possible she made her way towards the church to find the reverend. As she walked down the street, holding up her skirt to keep it out of the mud as much as possible, she passed the saloon. Michaela was astonished to see the girls that worked there out front in practically nothing at all. Refocusing herself she marched towards the bridge that led to the church. There were Soldiers crawling every inch of town, and as Michaela crossed the bridge she could see why. They had set up camp in the meadow and appeared to be having some sort of discussion with a large group of Indians. She continued on towards the Church, bound and determined to seek out her lodging so that she could change and take a much needed bath.

Sully had been mediating talks between the Cheyenne and Colonel Chivington for days. He was growing more and more agitated as the days went on realizing that the Army had no intentions of giving the Cheyenne a fair deal. Sully recognized that he had to clear his head if he was going to be any help to his friends. So, he set up on the outskirts of town under an old oak tree to meditate. The spirits would help guide him towards the best path.

Sully had been in Colorado Springs for close to ten years. The better part of which he worked in a silver mine just outside of town. Four years ago he had come in to town to get supplies at Brays Mercantile, where he met Abigail, Loren's daughter. Abby was much younger than Sully. At least 8 years, but she was sweet and made a special effort to help him while he was in the store. Sully, not used to outright attention from a female, and not one for a lot of words, grew to like her efforts. Abby would chatter on about everyone in town while Sully nodded every once in a while to show that he was in fact listening. Unbeknownst to Sully, Abigail had been promised to a young man named Martin Anderson. Loren had made plans for the two to marry so that Martin could take over the store. Abigail knew that her father wanted her to be with Martin, but she didn't love him. She never thought that he would force her to marry him.

After months of conversation with Sully Abigail had decided that she wanted to marry him. Loren forbid it, so Abby ran. Abby arrived at the mining camp as dusk was falling. She was out of breath and frantic. Sully heard the commotion outside of his tent and went out to find her wide eyed and hair flying about.

"Abby? What in the world are you doin out here?" He asked, knowing that it was getting dark and she wouldn't have time to make it back to town.

Abby suddenly felt self-conscious for coming. He had never said how he felt about her, and she wasn't sure what he would do when she told him what she wanted. "I… I needed to see you. Can we talk somewhere?"

"uh, sure" sully replied glancing around at the rough men who were eyeing the vulnerable young girl. "Come on" he said as he guided her into his tent, and waited for her to continue.

Abby felt goose bumps rise on her arms as he touched the small of her back. It felt so natural for her to be near him. She opened her mouth to speak, but a sob poured out instead. Not sure what to do, or what was appropriate in this situation, Sully put a hand on her back to try and calm her. Abby took this as a sign and buried her face in his chest. She cried for what seemed like forever before looking up at Sully's face. Sully felt his heart tighten at the vision of the distraught young woman before him. He had never realized how truly beautiful and grown up she had become. Her long coal black hair shimmered in the faint light coming from a lantern on a nearby table, and her tear filled eyes were beckoning him in. It had been a long time since Sully had been with a woman, and he couldn't help the need to be near her. He was snapped out of his reverie as she babbled on about her father forcing her to marry Martin. Sully could feel his mind becoming foggy. What did she want him to do about it?

"wait, Abby slow down a minute. Your pa's makin you marry Martin Anderson? Then why are ya here? What's a matter?" he asked delicately.

"I… well… I thought that you could… well we've become good friends right? I mean… I really like you… and I thought that you… well, that you liked me too. Don't you Sully?" She asked hopefully

"Well, yea. I guess I do. You've been real nice to me since I got here, and I've grown to like our talks." Sully replied, still unsure where this was headed.

"Then you'll marry me?" Abby squealed.

Obviously Sully had missed part of their conversation, and he could feel his chest tightening.

"Marry ya? Well… I guess I hadn't thought much about it." He sputtered

Abagail could tell that he was caught off guard, so she tried to ease his mind. "We wouldn't have to get married right away. We could just be courtin for a while. Then get married. That way my pa could get to know ya." Abby smiled innocently and continued to rattle on.

Sully wasn't so sure Loren was going to be happy with this new change of plans. But, as Sully started to wrap his mind around it, he didn't like the thought of Abby being with someone that didn't make her happy. He had grown to care for her greatly, and the thought of her being with someone else suddenly made his stomach knot. This must be what love feels like. Sully thought.

"ok" he whispered.

"What did you just say?" Abby exclaimed.

"I said ok. I'll do it." He replied looking into her dark eyes that held so much hope for him.

"Oh Sully, you've made me so happy! We can go back to town in the morning and tell my Pa!" Abby threw her arms around his neck and kissed him square on the lips.

Sully was shocked, but didn't pull away. Her kiss was so innocent and he couldn't help but smile at how sweet she was. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her to his lips again. This time the kiss was more forceful and Abby gasped into his mouth as a shiver shot down her spine. She thought to herself that she was the luckiest girl alive if she got to spend the rest of her life with kisses like that!

Sully pulled away and told her to settle in his tent. He would share with his friend Daniel for the night. After another chaste kiss Sully left her to rest.

Needless to say, Loren did not take to the news well. He thought that his daughter was much too good to marry some miner. What could he offer her? He had no home, no money, and no stability. After a much heated argument where Loren called Sully every name he could think of, he forbid Abagail to ever see Sully again. Once again, Abagail ended up at Sully's tent crying her eyes out. By this time Sully had become accustomed to the idea of her being his wife, and took offense to Loren's insinuation that he was no good for her.

"Let's just go to Denver" he said heatedly

"What?" Abagail asked nervously.

"Let's elope. We can get married and then come back. He'll have to accept it then. You're old enough. You don't need is permission" Sully explained.

Abagail was touched by the sentiment. She had thought that Sully only went along with things because he felt sorry for her. But he really wanted to marry her, and that caused her stomach to flutter. Without thinking on it any further she replied on impulse. "Let's do it!"

In a whirlwind Sully and Abigail were married. When they returned to Colorado Springs a week later, the town was a buzz. Loren had been devastated when Abigail disappeared. In a drunken rage he organized a search party, determined to find her before she was "violated". After 3 days and no sign of her, Loren had locked himself in the upstairs apartment of the store to avoid the gossiping stares of the town. When Sully and Abigail came into town riding the same horse Loren's wife Maude gleefully came running up the stairs. Loren had already seen the spectacle that was gathering outside, and his ire was rising in his throat. Before Maude knew what he was doing he stormed down the stairs and out the front door.

"What in tarnation do you think yer doin with my little girl?" Loren stormed at Sully.

Sully knew this would be difficult, but he was determined to show the Bray's that he was a suitable match for their daughter.

"She's my wife" Sully said plainly.

"No she aint. She aint old enough. She's a child…" Loren stammered. He felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. "She's supposed to marry Martin in a month." For the first time Loren turned his gaze towards his daughter, and realized that she was indeed old enough and hadn't been forced into anything. "How could you do this to me?" Loren spat.

"Papa please…" Abby tried to soothe the old man.

"I don't even know you. My daughter never would have done this. I never wanna see you again." He hawked. Loren felt ashamed and beaten, and the whole town was there to witness it. He stormed past his wife back into the store and promptly closed the door.

Abigail ran to her mother sobbing. "It's all right child. You know how your pa is. I want ya to be happy. Does he make ya happy?" She asked nodding towards Sully.

"Yes, mama. He truly does." She replied fighting back another round of tears.

"Well, here. I want the two of ya to have this. It's a parcel of land that belonged to my father. It's not too far from town. You build ya a nice house, and don't worry about your pa, he'll come around. He's just surprised is all." Maude said woefully. Truth be told she didn't know if her husband would ever get over this. He was a proud man, and couldn't stand to be embarrassed, least wise in front of the whole town. This would be the talk for some time.

"Don't you worry Mrs. Bray. I'll take good care of her. I promise." Sully said assertively.

Maude had always liked Sully, and she could see in his eyes that he had a kind soul. She trusted that he would take care of her little girl the best he could.

"Y'all go on now. I'll see ya soon" She said trying her best to be supportive.

Sully built Abigail a cabin on the land given to them by her mother and within 3 months she was pregnant. With every day that passed Sully found himself more and more enamored with his young wife. She was so keen to make him happy, and he loved the sight of her pregnant with his child. Sully had never thought much on having children before, but now that he could see his baby growing within his radiant wife he felt overcome with a sense of completion. This is what life was for.

The only problem was that Loren still wanted nothing to do with them, and Abigail grew more and more morose by the day. Abby had secluded herself to the homestead, refusing to go into town for anything. Charlotte Cooper was the local midwife and had been around on several occasions to check on her and the baby. Abigail would always hold out hope that she had some news from her father, but alas Charlotte never could relieve that burden. But, Charlotte held out hope that once the baby arrived it would bring Abby out of her melancholy mood.

Sully did his best to prepare for the baby despite his wife's decreasing interest. He set to building a cradle and rocking horse that their child could use. And the day they had long awaited finally came. Abby had been pacing the homestead for hours without a sound. When she finally gave the nod for Sully to take her to Charlotte, he was relieved to be able to do something besides wait. As Sully pulled the wagon up to the boarding house he knew something was wrong. Abby had started screaming just outside of town. He rushed into the house before helping Charlotte out to the wagon. Abby was sitting in a pool of blood. Her face was greyed, and Sully couldn't tell if she was breathing. Charlotte jumped into action and could tell that this was beyond her expertise. "we need to get her to a doctor. I don't think I can help her" Sully hopped up planting his feet firmly on the buckboard as he drove the horse towards Denver. It would take at least 3 hours if Sully pushed the horse the whole way, and he could feel a lump forming in his throat. They weren't gonna make it.

"Abby, I need ya to push honey. Ya gotta push that baby out or you're gonna bleed ta death. Now roll over and get on all fours. It'll make it easier for the baby to come" Charlotte whispered as the wagon bumped along the sun lit road. She received a slight nod from her patient and helped her move onto her stomach.

Suddenly Sully heard his wife shriek in pain. He knew that giving birth was hard, but he felt like something wasn't right. He urged the horse on and tried his best to concentrate on the road ahead.

Charlotte caught the baby and knew instantly that she was gone. The baby had a blue hue that told her that she had been strangled by the umbilical cord. Charlotte gently wrapped her in a blanket as a tear slipped down her cheek. Abby had collapsed onto her back and was shaking. Charlotte looked up from the infant's face to Abby and realized that she was losing her too. Abigail was hemorrhaging blood profusely. Charlotte began massaging Abby's stomach to get the uterus to contract so that it would naturally stop the bleeding. The life was draining out of her face and Charlotte felt helpless to stop it.

Sully stopped suddenly when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked around hopefully, but was met with Charlotte's tear stained face.

"Sully, I'm sorry. They're both gone. There was nuthin I could do. It was a little girl…" Charlotte hung her head as he jumped down from the seat.

Without another thought Sully dropped to his knees and let out a heart breaking cry. He pulled his wife's lifeless hand to his lips and sobbed uncontrolled into her lifeless chest. He looked over to see his baby lying peacefully in her arm, and another wave of pain overtook him. He picked her up and cradled her to his chest as a wail escaped his lips.

Charlotte waited until Sully calmed before turning the wagon around and heading back towards town. As they pulled into town Sully timidly asked Charlotte to stop just outside of town. Charlotte complied and knew by the look in his eye that he needed to be alone. She nodded for him to go and as she turned the wagon towards the small town.

Sully walked in a daze. In a matter of hours his life had come to an end. All of the plans he had made were ruined. Without realizing it he walked to the homestead. As he pushed the door open he collapsed under the weight of the days event.

Charlotte took the mother and child to Jake Slicker's. He was the undertaker and would be taking care of everything. As Charlotte stepped out of the barber shop she glanced towards the general store and saw Loren sweeping the front porch. She inhaled a deep breath and stepped towards him. Without a word Loren knew what had happened. The look on Charlotte's face told the story clearly. "And the child?" Loren choked out. Charlotte opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. All she could do was shake her head, and turned towards the boarding house and her own children.

That evening Charlotte waited outside the homestead for Sully to emerge, and after an hour she began to worry. She had knocked several times, but with no answer thought that perhaps he wasn't there. She had seen it on several occasions where the husband couldn't bear the agony and would take his own life. Slipping inside the front door quietly she allowed her eyes to adjust before stepping in further. She scanned the room, not seeing him at first. She heard a stifled sob and narrowed her eyes to see him huddled in the corner of the room with his knees pulled up under his chin and his face in his hands.

Sully felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest. His head was swirling with thoughts of what he could have done to prevent this. Maybe he shouldn't have married Abigail at all. Her parents would never forgive him. How could he ever forgive himself? He was responsible for this young woman. He had gotten her into this whole mess after all. Quivering, he started when Charlotte touched his arm. The feel of bile in that back of his throat foretold that he would be sick and he scrambled out of the tiny cabin. After expelling the contents of his stomach beside the porch Sully ran. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he had to get as far away from that house as he could.

The following days passed in a tumultuous fever. Sully couldn't bring himself to face Abigail's family, and so he left it to Charlotte to take care of the arrangements. He wandered through the woods for two days before showing up on the steps of the boarding house. Charlotte informed him that the funeral would be the next day, and Sully silently wondered whether he should go. Charlotte could feel his sorrow and tried to dispel some of his guilt.

"Sully, you know it aint your fault. There was nothing that coulda been done. Even a doctor would have had trouble savin em. You can't blame yourself." Charlotte acquiesced.

"If I hadn't a married her, this never would have happen..." he started before calming his emotions. "Thanks for everything. You're a true friend and I want ya to know that I appreciate everything ya did to save my wife and daughter. We were gonna name her Hannah." Sully choked out. He suddenly felt like he was suffocating and stepped off the porch and into the night air before Charlotte could respond.

As the crowd dispersed from the petite graveyard Sully stepped out of the woods. He knelt if front of the newly dug graves and placed a fist full of flowers on each one before he spoke.

"Abby, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do without you. I can't be here right now, but I promise I'll be back. I'll come every week when I'm here. I'll always love you, and Hannah. I'll think about you every day, and hold you in my heart forever."

Sully was pulled out of his memory by the sound of his name being called in Cheyenne. He was needed. He shook off the dense cloud that had settled around him and headed towards the meadow.


	2. Chapter 2

DQMW Chapter 2

_I hope you all are enjoying the story thus far. I love this series and can't believe it's taken me this long to write a fan fic. Writing for these characters just comes so naturally it seems. Please read and review!_

_-Ash_

Michaela made her way towards the Church and approached a man painting the outside windows. "Pardon me. Might you be the Reverend Timothy Johnson?" Michaela asked.

"Yes, what can I do for ya?" He asked and hopped down from his perch on the railing of the front steps.

"Michaela Quinn…M.D…The new doctor." She said with as much confidence as she could muster.

The reverend released a long sigh, and Michaela knew that this was not going to be as easy as she had hoped.

"I'm afraid I don't understand. The telegram said Michael Quinn." The reverend tried to explain.

"I believe I spelled it out quite clearly. That's Michael, with an A. My father was expecting a male." She said tersely.

"So was I, would you please come with me?" The reverend replied.

"Certainly. What's going on?" Michaela pointed out the group of Soldiers and Indians gathered in the meadow. As she did she noticed a man in between the two groups that looked to be neither a soldier or Indian. He was wearing a large hat so that she couldn't clearly see his face, but he appeared to be a mediator of some kind, and this peaked her interest. Distracted by the goings on in the meadow the doctor lost her footing and found herself face down in a pile of mud.

Talks were getting heated between Chief Black Kettle and Colonel Chivington, and Sully was about to give up when he heard a thud. Sully looked up to see a very proper looking woman lying face down in the mud. He could tell that she was from back east by the way she was dressed, and he waited for her to freak out, but was surprised when she picked herself up and continued to walk on with the Reverend towards town. Sully felt his stomach flutter at the sight, and had the instinct that there was more to this woman than most.

The Reverend drug Michaela to the telegraph office to confirm the telegram, but was shocked to find that the lady had been right. The reverend immediately began recanting the offer to be the towns doctor. However, Michaela had come too far to give up now.

"Colorado Springs needs a doctor, and I happen to be one." She said firmly

"But you don't understand. No one around here has ever heard of a lady doctor." He exclaimed

"Well, there's always a first time." She tried. Michaela was determined not to be turned away for the simple fact that she was a woman.

The reverend continued his assault. He explained that the widow cooper didn't allow Lady boarders as he knocked on the wooden door. A blonde young man answered the door and the reverend asked him to fetch his mother.

Charlotte appeared from the side door holding a chicken by its feet. "Mornin.." she said surprised to see the beautiful stranger covered in mud.

"There's been a terrible mistake" the reverend started to explain.

"Just a small misunderstanding really" Michaela jumped in. She felt as though this woman might sympathize with her fight and wanted to establish that she didn't mean to back down.

"You see I thought that Miss Quinn was a man… that is I assumed that when she answered the advertisement that she was a doctor…"

Little did Michaela know that Charlotte had dealt with the prejudice towards women for a long time and was ecstatic to see the lady doctor before her. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but could tell that this lady had fire and was intrigued to see how she handled their little town.

"I am a doctor." Michaela affirmed.

"So… you're the new doctor!" Charlotte asked.

Michaela introduced herself formally, and in turn Charlotte introduced herself and her three children, Matthew, Colleen, and little Brian. The children were fascinated by not only the fact that this lady was a doctor, but by her fancy clothing. Charlotte showed her to her room, and left to allow the doctor time to settle in before dinner.

As Michaela began to unpack; the day's events settled on her heavily. The warm reception that she had expected was far from what she got, but on the bright side Charlotte seemed more than accommodating. Michaela hoped that they would become quick friends. She had the feeling that she would need an ally to get through the coming days.

Michaela found herself across from Colonel Chivington and three of his men at the dinner table that evening. In general Michaela was not fond of Soldiers or the destruction that they brought about. She quickly regretted asking how the Indians were faring in the treaty when she was admonished for her view that the Indians were being treated unfairly. Luckily Charlotte intervened before the conversation became more heated. The topic turned to her marital status, which made Michaela squirm under the watchful of the group. Charlotte informed her that there were 20 men to every woman. Before the conversation could go any further she asked where she could post an advertisement. She would need to find permanent lodging, and the sooner the better. She couldn't possibly work out of her room at the boarding house.

The next morning Charlotte escorted Michaela to the General Store, knowing that her new found friend would have more trouble than she could handle if she was alone. As they passed, they could overhear the reverend speaking with what appeared to Michaela to be the town barber.

"Jake Slicker… he's pulled a few teeth. Lanced a few boils, and he thinks that makes him a doctor." Charlotte explained.

"I see… the competition." Michaela responded as she craned her neck to get a better look at the man.

"You see, the only doctorin' that women are allowed to do around here is midwifen. You're just lucky… the midwife's a very reasonable woman." Charlotte cheekily replied.

"that's a relief. I'd really like to meet her." Michaela replied earnestly. Another professional woman to talk with would certainly be a good thing.

Charlotte chuckled to herself as she followed the doctor into the store. "You already have"

"You?" She said louder than she had meant to startling the Colonel that was standing nearby. Michaela was taken aback. She knew that she liked Charlotte, but this somehow solidified the fact that they would indeed be good friends.

"It's over here." Charlotte led Michaela to the message board that was covered in advertisements that seemed to be as old as the store itself.

Loren had been watching them from the counter and decided he would stop whatever mischief the women had in mind. "What's the problem Charlotte?"

"Loren, no problem. The doctor here is just gonna post a notice." Both ladies turned back towards the board and missed the shocked look on Lorens face.

He was flabberghasted. No one had ever seen a lady doctor, and from what they had heard they weren't a very refined lot. This woman looked to come from money. "No room" He stated flatly.

"Some of these look as if they've outlived the people who put em there." Charlotte replied in turn, trying to keep her temper in check. She had witnessed firsthand how tough the men of this town could be.

"Sorry Charlotte. None of those notices have seen its day." As Loren finished his statement he turned to see Sully walking in with Chief Black Kettle and a wolf at his heels. He cleared his throat while pointing to the sign posted above the notice board that read "No Dogs or Indians".

Michaela's breath caught in her throat. She recognized the man as the one she had seen in the meadow the previous day, and realized that he was indeed a white man. His hair hung shoulder length in russet waves, and Michaela could tell through his loose formed shirt that he was quite tan and brawny. She had heard of what were termed "mountain men" but seeing him up close the description didn't quite seem to fit. She could already tell that he was kind and gentle, but he had a firm discontented look on his face. She looked above her to the sign and indignantly reached up to take it down. "Here's one that's seen its day Mr. Bray." She fired, and noticed that the mountain man smiled, albeit slightly.

Colonel Chivington stormed over and snatched the sign from her hand to return it to its perch. Seeing the Colonel treat the lady with such disrespect sent a spark through Sully and he reacted sending his tomahawk through the center of the board.

Michaela and Charlotte both jumped as the tomahawk came into contact with the sign. Turning quickly with his gun at the ready, the Colonel was ready to retaliate, but quickly backed down when he saw Sully's wolf prepared to pounce.

Sully was impressed. He hadn't seen anyone stand up for the Cheyenne besides himself. Most folks in these parts were content to let the Army do as it pleased, and as the Colonel left the store Sully sauntered towards her to retrieve his tomahawk. He shifted his gaze to the beautiful woman standing before him, and detected the slight difference in her eye color. Sully felt his pulse quicken as she stared back unwavering. She wasn't afraid of him. For some time now, people had kept their distance from him, and he from them, but she seemed to be drawing him in. He felt this urge to protect her. And as much as that thought entranced Sully it terrified him. He hadn't come near a white woman since Abigail passed, and certainly not one as refined as she was.

Michaela wasn't sure what to think of this man, but her heart was racing. She could clearly see that he had piercing blue eyes, and Michaela momentarily lost herself in them. A vision of his powerful arms wrapped around her flashed through her head. She sucked in a slow breath and tried to look away.

Charlotte took her arm and escorted her out of the store with the excuse that she needed to buy a horse. Sully stood brooding over this newcomer. It had been nearly two years since Abigail had died, and Sully had yet to find a woman who could even turn his head. But this woman, he already felt the need to look after her, and that scared him. He turned to look at the notice that she had posted; she needed a place to stay. Sully thought about his homestead. He hadn't stepped foot near the place since Abby died. Could he let another woman live in the home he built for his wife? He finally convinced himself that it would be a relief to have someone take care of the place.

Sully grabbed the notice and headed out of the store. Looking down the street to the livery he spotted her circling around a horse. He watched her a moment wondering if she had any idea what she was doing. He sauntered towards the women and couldn't help but chuckle as she tried to position her weight in the stirrup so that she could reach the saddle. Before he could think he came up behind her and gave her a boost. Michaela came down into the saddle with a thump, and turned with a flare to assault the person who dared to touch her rear, but was met with the same Azure pools from the general store. Before she could say anything Sully handed her the advertisement.

"you took it down." She couldn't help the disappointment in her voice. After witnessing the display in the store she thought he might be somewhat more supportive than the other town members had been. She desperately needed a place to stay and to set up her practice.

Sully eyed her, secretly loving how spirited she seemed. She was so different from the women he had known, so different from his wife, and though he was wrestling his conscience he couldn't resist the urge to get to know her better. "No, I'm answerin it."

Michaela glanced towards Charlotte for a sign that it was ok to trust him and she was rewarded with an assuring smile. If Charlotte trusted him, then she would as well. Staring into his eyes, Michaela hoped that her instincts were correct, and that this man was a kind and gentle soul.

"I'll take ya there now if ya want." He said quickly breaking her stare. There was something about her steady gaze that unnerved him. It felt like she could see into his soul. He would be her landlord, nothing more he repeated to himself for the tenth time.

"all right… I'll be back before dinner." Michaela glanced towards Charlotte, trying to hide the nervousness that was growing inside of her. Never being permitted to be alone with men in Boston, the thought of riding who knows how far with this roughhewn man was nerve racking. Before she could change her mind Sully grabbed the reins of her horse and led her out of town. Michaela wondered why he didn't ride a horse, but decided against asking any personal questions.

She couldn't resist glancing at him as they walked along the trail, noticing how his shoulders moved under his thin cotton shirt. He was the personification of man, and seemed to ooze a masculine scent that intoxicated Michaela's senses. This caught her off guard. Michaela had never been one that was overly interested in the male sex. Yes, she had been engaged at one point, but her relationship with David had been one more of friendship than a natural attraction. This rugged mountain man seemed to possess an animal magnetism that she couldn't resist.

Sully turned towards her, surprised to find her staring at him. She turned away demurely as a crimson hue crept up her neck. He smirked and turned back towards the road. He was shocked that she hadn't forced him into conversation. In his experience women couldn't stop talking long enough for him to get in a thought, but the new doctor seemed preoccupied. "It's not too far. Just over that ridge."

Michaela was relieved that he had finally said something. "oh, that's great. It's not too far from town. I'd like to be close to my patients. It will make things much easier." Realizing that he had no intention of responding Michaela fell back into herself and concentrated on the scenery. She would need to get her bearings. As the pair rounded the corner the homestead came into view. It was clearly in a state of disrepair, but Michaela knew that she may not get another chance to have a real home, so she decided to take at least take a look.

She went to dismount her horse, and misjudged the distance finding herself crashing to the ground with a thud. Sully looked around, but decided to keep his distance. He didn't want to get used to helping her. That could be dangerous.

Michaela looked up in shock that he wasn't even going to offer to help her up. Perhaps he wasn't the person she had judged him to be. Sully felt as though he should explain his ungentlemanly manners.

"Well, if you're gonna survive, you better learn to make it on your own."

Not wanting to let him see that she expected help she replied with a curt "precisely" and dusted herself off. After chasing down her new horse and tying him to the porch, she stepped up to the door. "How much?" She asked in her most business like tone.

Sully didn't care about the money so he replied "dollar a month?"

Michaela tentatively took a look inside and found that it was no better that the outside as it was obvious that no one had lived here for years. She wanted to ask why he didn't live at his homestead, but could tell that he was not a man that would take well to her prying. "I'll take it" She reached into her bag and produced her shingle that hung beneath her fathers at their office in Boston. " M Quinn M.D."

Sully was captivated by her tenacious nature, and he smirked when he saw the tiny shingle. It didn't seem to fit this lady who was larger than life itself. "Not much of a shingle" he said as he turned to walk away. Sully could feel himself being drawn to this woman. What was he thinking letting her stay in Abby's house? It was almost as if he hadn't truly thought about it, he just wanted to help her.

Michaela was stunned into silence. Her journey to the frontier was not at all how she had planned, and she suddenly felt alone. She grew nervous as she watched Sully disappear around the bend. She wasn't sure if she could find her way back to town, but she wouldn't let him know that. It took her a while, but she made it back to town just before sunset. She told Charlotte about the homestead and gladly accepted her offer to help clean the place up before packing her things for the move to her new home.


	3. Chapter 3

DQMW Ch 3

_Hope you're enjoying the story so far. Please read and review!_

Rising with the sun, the Cooper clan and their doctor friend set out for the Sully homestead. The children settled in the back of the wagon, which left Charlotte and Michaela some time to talk.

"For the life of me, I don't know how you made it back into town all by yourself. I'd like to ring Sully's neck." Charlotte fumed. She knew better than anyone what he had been through, but that was no reason to treat their new doctor in such a manner.

"Is that his name?" Michaela replied trying not to show too much interest. To be honest she wasn't sure what to make of her new landlord, but she was dying to know more about him.

"He didn't even tell ya his name?" Charlotte reacted.

"Well, he wasn't very talkative, and to be honest I was afraid to press him for fear he would change his mind."

"well that's not likely to happen. One thing Sully is he's a man of his word." Charlotte explained

"Why doesn't he live on his homestead?" Michaela queried. She had finally asked the question that she was itching to know.

Without going into too much detail, Charlotte explained Sully's situation. Michaela hadn't anticipated the heart wrenching story that poured from her friend's lips, and more than ever she knew that this was where she was needed the most. If she had been here two years ago she could have saved them, or at least tried. The homestead came into sight and Michaela felt strangely excited. It wasn't exactly the place that she had planned on, but this would be her first home, and she was eager to get things in order. Not wanting to seem as though she was ignorant to the ways of a home Michaela set to work sweeping the dusty floor. Charlotte entered the homestead followed by Colleen and Brian. The cloud of dust was already forming, and charlotte was keenly aware of the education that she would need to give the doctor if she was to survive.

"It's like the horse." Charlotte asked sympathetically.

"We had servants…" Michaela explained.

Charlotte went on to show her how she could sprinkle water on the floor to keep the dust from flying around. After a long day full of lessons on how to care for her new home and the animals she would have, the Cooper family set off for town leaving Michaela on her own. After hearing Sully's story she understood why the house was still full of his wife's belongings. She kept busy most of the evening dusting and putting her things away, but as night crept in Michaela began to feel like an intruder. There were so many things that belonged to Abigail and she wasn't sure what to do with them. Combing through the hope chest located at the foot of the bed Michaela wondered how she could start a new life surrounded by the memories of one that was long gone. She contemplated her obvious attraction for her new landlord, and couldn't help but wonder if Sully would ever be able to move on. Chastising herself for such thoughts she set to laying out her Sunday Dress.

The sun warmed her face and she stretched out to greet the day. Michaela knew that today was going to be pivotal. The social structure of these small towns was at church and she hoped that her attendance would give the town some faith in her character if not her medical abilities. Michaela was precariously perched on top of Bear (her horse) as she rode into town. She spotted Sully standing in the Indian camp and averted her eyes quickly before he noticed her gaze. Inhaling deeply she urged bear on towards the crowd that was gathered in front of the church.

Dismounting, she glanced again at Sully across the meadow. She could see that the chief was referencing her and Sully in turn answered him. Michaela's face flushed slightly to know that Sully was talking about her.

She found Charlotte and the children, and quickly realized that she was overdressed. Stuffing her hat back into the saddle bag she took Charlottes arm in an attempt to meet some of the town, but to Michaela's dismay they turned their backs. She had known all along that being a doctor would be tough, and that moving west would be an even bigger struggle, but Michaela was finding it hard to be alone in all of this. At least when she had started practicing medicine in Boston her father was there for support. Aside from Charlotte, no one seemed to even acknowledge that she was there.

Before she could reach the steps to the church a voice rang out for Jake Slicker. Someone had been shot, and Michaela sprinted towards Bear, gathered her bag and ran towards the saloon. After several failed attempts at helping, Michaela felt defeated. How could she prove that she was a good doctor if no one would let her help them? Not one to give up she followed the crowd towards the barber shop. As she approached the stoop she caught sight of someone falling beside her. It was an older lady and she was gripping her chest.

"Ma'am, are you all right?" Michaela asked as she opened her medical bag to grab her stethoscope. Before she could assess the woman she felt her arm being jerked away. The woman that had collapsed was in fact Loren's wife, Maude.

"Get away from my wife." He groused.

"Your wife is ill." Michaela pleaded with him.

"Just one of her spells…" Loren explained as he shuffled Maude towards the store.

Try as she might there was no way that Loren would allow her to care for his wife. Michaela was furious. These people were no more open minded than the ones in Boston. She was starting to wonder if she had made the right decision in coming to Colorado.

Michaela walked back towards the meadow to fetch her horse so that she could go back to the homestead, but caught sight of the red of Sully's poncho in the cemetery and decided that they needed to discuss the matter of all his possessions that were left in the house.

As she approached, Sully felt his heart tighten. It was bad enough having her at the homestead, but now she was intruding on his time with Abby and Hannah. Guilt was wreaking havoc on his heart. It had taken him a while to warm up to the thought of being with Abigail. Sully assumed that was only natural, but from the time he laid eyes on Michaela he felt a spark. It wasn't fair, not him and not to Abby. He wanted to keep her memory pure, but already his will was softening.

Sully backed away from the graves and stepped towards the doctor. He would just have to fight these feelings.

"There are some things in the cabin that belong to you." Michaela began but was cut short.

"There's nothing I want." He replied.

"What did chief Black Kettle say to you when I rode up?" Michaela probed.

Sully sighed heavily "He wanted to know who you were."

"What did you tell him?" she requested. She was curious to know what Sully and his Indian friend thought of her, and once again his stare went straight through her.

Sully softened his tone. He could tell that she needed a little assurance "I told him you were a medicine woman who came from the east. He said among the whites only men make medicine. So you must be a crazy white woman." Sully couldn't help but smirk at the insecure look on her face. He had meant it at a compliment, but she obviously did not get his meaning. He replaced his hat and walked away without another word, leaving Michaela to wonder exactly what he meant by crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

DQMW Ch 4

Sully spent his days in the meadow arguing with the Army, but at night retreated to a lean-to outside of town. He had several set up in the area, but had taken to staying at the one located closest to the homestead. This gave him an excuse to walk by every night and check to make sure things were ok. He would stand in the shadows and watch Michaela's shadow pass back and forth in front of the window. Somehow it comforted him to know that she was ok.

Michaela had fallen into a routine quickly. There was so much to be done around the homestead just to keep things going that she wasn't sure how she would ever find time to visit patients. That is if she ever had any. Several weeks had passed and not one soul had come to see her. She was feeling increasingly isolated. Except for Charlotte and her children she hadn't talked to anyone for days.

One morning as she was making herself a breakfast of eggs and toast a knock came. Michaela opened the door to find Matthew, and he explained that Charlotte needed her help, and she rushed to shut down the stove and head towards town. Finally, she was needed!

Michaela arrived at the boarding house and hurried inside. She found Charlotte hovered over a young woman who was obviously expecting. Charlotte quickly described the complication. Emily had been in labor for over 20 hours and the baby just wasn't dropping. It seemed as though her pelvis just wasn't large enough for the baby to fit through. At this point she was exhausted and unable to push, so Michaela was forced to cut the baby out. Charlotte was enamored with Michaela's swift thinking and skillful hands. She had saved both mother and child from a certain death.

Unfortunately, saving Emily and her baby didn't bring her any closer to being the town's doctor. It was time for drastic measure. Michaela devised a plan to have Jake Slicker look at her aching tooth, "one doctor to another". It was a long shot, but perhaps he wouldn't discount her so quickly if they could work together. What she hadn't planned on was Jake's recommendation that the tooth be extracted. Her blood ran cold. She couldn't go back now, and Michaela only hoped that it would prove her mettle to the group of men gathered in the small shop.

Pacing the kitchen floor at the boarding house Michaela rubber her sore jaw hoping that today had been worth it. Only time would tell. Charlotte turned to her, noticing that something was amiss. Her new friend was like an open book, she could read every emotion clearly on her face.

"You look a little peakid." Charlotte declared.

"Had a tooth pulled" Michaela replied, still rubbing her jaw line.

"What?" Charlotte answered.

"Jake Slicker said it had to go…" Michaela was more than a little sore and starting to question her judgment.

"wasn't nothing wrong with that tooth. Was it?" Charlotte affirmed. Michaela was slightly ashamed, but couldn't lie. "No" she answered weakly.

"You ought to be ashamed. Lettin that bully yank a perfectly good tooth right out of your head." Charlotte chastised.

"You're right" Michaela affirmed. She couldn't deny that it was wreckless, but she had to try something. Just sitting around the homestead was not going to win her any points in this town.

"On the other hand… I bet my bottom dollar that you shook him right up." Charlotte chuckled. Jake had always been a thorn in her side and she would have killed to be a fly on that wall. "You think so?" Michaela wondered. "Yea, sure. What you did took guts. A man can't ignore that!" She said before turning back to dinner.

Michaela had been curious for some time now how Charlotte's husband had passed away, but had never seen an appropriate time to ask. She never wanted to upset the children by bringing it up while they were around. Since she and Charlotte were alone she asked, and was astonished to find out that he wasn't dead, but instead had run off leaving her with 3 kids to raise and no money. In turn, Michaela thought about her fiancé, David. "My fiance never once mentioned the war. Until he came for dinner dressed in an officers uniform and announced he was leaving in two days. Two days…" Michaela choked up.

_Michaela stood at the foot of the bed looking over her patient's chart, and jotted a quick note before replacing it in its holder. As she did her father's voice boomed down the hall. "Mike, I'd like to introduce you to someone. This is Dr. David Lewis. He'll be doing his residency here as well. I thought you two would like to get to know each other better" Josef called out with a knowing look. Her parents always felt the need to play matchmaker, and Michaela abhorred it. Smiling weakly she reached out to take his hand "hello. Michaela Quinn. I suppose we had better get to know each other since we'll be doing rounds together." Michaela stated much colder than she had intended. _

"_I'll leave you two to talk." Josef said, his eyes twinkling. _

_David was speechless. He had never seen such a beautiful woman. David knew that he would do anything to win her heart and instantly memorized her every feature. _

_Michaela could feel his eyes on her and she picked at her finger nails nervously waiting for him to say something. _

"_It's a pleasure to finally meet you." David finally said as he snapped out of his haze. " Your father talks of nothing else. You really are more beautiful than he described."_

_Not liking where this was going Michaela set her jaw and turned to walk down the hall. _

_David was taken aback when he realized she wasn't stopping. He called her name as he tried to catch up. "Did I say something wrong?" David stammered. _

"_I just think we should keep things professional if we're going to be working together." Michaela countered. _

"_Yes, of course. I… I didn't mean to upset you. It's just…" David wasn't sure how to continue. He felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him._

"_It's fine. Shall we get started?" She said plainly. Only receiving a nod in response. _

_As the morning went on Michaela began to relax. David seemed like a nice enough guy, and if her father approved that meant he came from a wealthy family. Throughout the morning he had conceded to let her go first and to allow her the time to work the way she wished. Most men would rush or talk over her, so it was a pleasant reprieve. Perhaps she had been too hasty in brushing away his compliments. _

_David knew that if he didn't ask now, they would fall into a routine and it would become too hard to do later. So, despite her earlier fervor in not wanting his attention, David asked her to dinner. Surprisingly she didn't say no. David felt his heart leap into his throat. _

_The pair talked well into the evening and were surprised to find that they had so much in common. Of course, being physicians was a great starting point. As David walked her back to the brownstone in Beacon Hill he began to get nervous. More than anything he wanted to kiss her. Thinking better of it he placed a gentle kiss to her cheek and left her for the night. _

_The foundation was set, and so the coming days only proved to bring them closer together. Michaela felt as though they had been friends forever. She had never had a male talk to her as an equal, besides her father. David made her feel like she was stronger with him at her side. Michaela's parents, Elizabeth and Josef were delighted. Elizabeth had been pressuring her to marry for years, and it appeared there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Six months into their courtship David appeared in Josef's doorway at the hospital. He appeared nervous and Josef couldn't stand to watch the boy squirm. _

"_What is it son? Is everything all right? Where is Mike?" he asked in rapid fire. _

"_Uh, Michaela…. She's… she's still downstairs. I wanted to ask you something before we left for the day." He stammered_

"_Well, what is it?" Josef pushed. Having 5 daughters had given him a sixth sense, and he knew what was coming. _

_David escorted Michaela into the Dining area of a Restaurant Parisienne. He told her that they were going out for the evening so she should dress up, and she didn't disappoint. She was wearing a spectacular off the shoulder pale pink ball gown. Her hair was pinned up, but fell in tight ringlets around her face. She was breath taking and everyone in the restaurant turned as she walked in. Michaela lowered her eyes demurely as David pulled out her chair. She was a nervous wreck. She wasn't used to being doted on. They had been out on several occasions, but never anything like this. David had spared no expense. _

_Sitting across from her made David's mouth go dry. He wasn't sure how he would get the words out. David took the liberty of ordering for them both, and for once Michaela didn't mind. She found a new comfort in having someone know what she would enjoy for dinner. She settled in and took a sip of champagne as she watched the dance floor fill with couples. She was snapped out of her reverie by David's voice. "Michaela… there's something I wish to discuss with you." He began. _

"_All right David. Is everything ok? You don't seem yourself this evening." She replied. _

"_Yes, I just have to do this now. I was going to wait, but I…" the uncertain look on Michaela's face told him that she wasn't catching on. He would have to be bold. "Michaela… we've grown to be great friends, and you know that I enjoy spending time with you. I… I was wondering… would you marry me?"_

_Michaela's face hadn't changed. She wasn't sure she had heard him right. He asked her as if he were asking about the weather and she thought for sure that she had misunderstood. "What?" she replied slowly, her head spinning from a mix of emotion and champagne. _

"_I asked if you would like to marry me?" He said again, this time sliding to one knee beside her chair. "You've made me very happy. And I would be honored if you would be my wife." David produced a beautiful silver ring, and Michaela's began to weep. The moment hadn't been what she had always imagined, but that was ok with her. She was going to be a wife, and a doctor. Could it be true? _

"_Michaela?" David asked panic setting in. _

_She realized that she hadn't said a word. "Yes, of course. I will marry you!" She beamed. _

_Two weeks passed and Michaela found herself getting ready for her engagement party. She dressed in a black satin dress with red elbow length gloves. Her hair was curled and pinned in a similar fashion as the night that David proposed. Michaela stared at herself in the mirror and pinched her cheeks to give them a touch of color before heading downstairs to join her family. _

_The party was a grand affair. Michaela's parents had gone all out and invited everyone they had ever known, and most of the faces were unfamiliar to the betrothed couple, but Michaela did her best to smile and accept everyone's congratulations graciously. As the party wound down she excused herself and headed upstairs to bed. The evening's festivities had been a whirlwind of excitement, and she was exhausted. _

_Another week had passed and thing were back to normal. Michaela and David did their rounds at the hospital and ate lunch on the common as they had for the past 7 months. Elizabeth had instructed Michaela to invite David to dinner that evening and so they both left work a bit early to get ready. Michaela sat at her dressing table staring at her engagement ring. She still had a hard time believing that she was engaged; she would be a wife soon. That meant that she would have to perform the "wifely duty" as her mother called it. From what Michaela understood there was no pleasure for the woman; she should just let him have his way and be done with it. The thought terrified her, but what choice did she have? A knock on the bedroom door aroused her from her dream. It was Martha calling her for dinner. _

_The Quinn family sat around the table quietly. They had waited for half an hour for their guest. Michaela suggested they eat before everything was spoiled. Just as the family began to pass the food Harrison came in to announce Captain David Lewis. In one afternoon he had joined the Union Army and would be leaving in two days. Michaela was stunned; how could he do such a thing without even mentioning it to her. Didn't her feelings matter at all? He was parading around the house in his new uniform and Michaela wanted to scream and stomp her feet like a petulant child. Instead she sat, silently watching and listening to everyone fawning over him. Things would never be the same. _

Charlotte had explained how everything went awry with her husband. Mr. Cooper had sold their farm out from underneath her and moved the family to set up a mine at Pike's Peak. When the mine went bust he had lost all sense. After a few months he abandoned Charlotte, leaving her with a mountain of bills and three children to care for. She had no choice but to fend for herself, so she opened the boarding house and had been working ever since.

"What about your man?" Charlotte asked after finishing her story.

"He was a doctor. We met in the hospital. Those days I was too busy thinking about work to pay any attention to parties like my sisters. Besides, when I did boys never asked me to dance. They always thought I was too…"

"smart" charlotte finished for her.

"I wasn't going to give up being a doctor, so I gave up the parties instead." Michaela sighed.

"How come you never got married?" Charlotte questioned

"He got killed in the war." Michaela whispered.

"It's funny. It doesn't matter how you lose 'em. Pain's the same"


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hi guys. Not sure if anyone is actually reading this, so if you would like me to continue, please let me know you're out there and what you think!**_

_**-Ash**_

_The afternoon sun shone through the trees, and Sully had to squint to see the eagle soaring overhead. His hands rested casually behind his head as he lay in the open field. He was surrounded by tall grass and pine trees; how he loved that smell. He breathed in deeply and caught a whiff of something else…lilacs. But there weren't any lilacs around here, he thought. Sitting up he surveyed the open area, but didn't see anyone nearby. As he settled back down he heard faint humming carrying through the trees. Sully found the voice familiar, but couldn't place it. He hopped up and headed towards the edge of the trees, once again catching her scent. As he neared he saw the coppery locks cascading down her back. She had the most beautiful hair he had ever seen, and the way it flowed accented her petite frame perfectly. She was picking wild flowers and had yet to see him. From the tree line he watched, wondering if he should make his presence know. As if reading his thoughts she turned and they locked eyes. Sully was agape, and he felt frozen to the spot. The corner of her mouth turned up slightly into a smirk as if she knew he was there all along. Without a word she stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sully was entranced by the emerald and hazel eyes that bore into his soul. Without another thought he pulled her closer and kissed her lightly on the lips. Her essence engulfed him and he wanted more. He leaned in again and caressed her cheek as he lowered his head to her lips. This time he allowed himself to be more passionate, and she didn't shy away. Sully released her as he felt his stomach flutter, and drew a long slow breath. He opened his eyes and realized that she was heading into the trees. "Michaela?...Michaela!" He called to her. She turned and said tenderly "Sully, wake up. Wake up"_

Sully was jolted into consciousness as the flap of the teepee flew open bringing with it a bright stream of light. He sat up and tried to remove the fog that was clouding his mind. It had all been a dream. Sully was confused and dejected. Not only had it felt real, it felt right. He shook his head and stared into the empty fire pit in front of him.

"What troubles you my friend?" Cloud Dancing asked.

"Nothin, just tired is all. Aint been sleepin much" Sully answered quickly. Cloud Dancing eyed him knowingly, and Sully could tell that he wouldn't get off that easy. "Dreams" he clarified. He had dreamed of her 3 nights in a row and was beginning to get angry. It wasn't right to think of someone the way he was so soon after Abigail's death. But it seemed that any time his mind was at rest his thoughts drifted to her. He found himself wanting to talk to her, or wondering what she was doing, or if she had found any new patients. On several occasions he had thought about knocking on the homestead door, just to see if she was ok, but he didn't want to startle her, so he kept his distance. They had barely known each other two months, and certainly didn't have that familiar of a relationship yet, but Sully shocked himself when he hoped that they would.

When Abigail died Sully had wanted to die. He felt responsible for everything and felt as though God was punishing him. He had lost every family member he had ever known, and wasn't sure how to go on. In a matter of hours his life was torn to shreds, and so he ran.

After joining the Union Army it was apparent that he was a crack shot. So, Sully soon found himself on special missions. As willing as Sully was to risk his own life he still had a deep seeded issue with killing other human beings. And after being ordered to murder an opposing Colonel at his camp, Sully found himself fleeing yet again. He had killed a man in cold blood, and it made him sick. So, deserting the Army, Sully wandered the countryside.

Sully found odd jobs along the way, and without realizing it, found his way back to Colorado. His gaunt form looked to be a shell of the man he once was. Dark circles enveloped his eyes, and he was running a fever. A storm was approaching and Sully felt that this was it. He could finally die and have it done with. He collapsed at the mouth of a narrow cave as the gale hit the mountain side. Whimpering came from inside, and Sully looked up to see a wolf pup huddled in the corner of the cavern. Sully wondered if the mother was nearby. He could just leave and let nature take it's course, but he could see the terror in the dog's eyes and his heart melted. He could think about himself later, for now he would take care of the innocent creature before him. He drug himself into the shelter of the cave and he eyed the dog. Immediately the dog sniffed his way to his new companion and curled up beside of him. Sully found the company a relief. He relaxed and drifted into a fitful sleep.

Waking in a haze, Sully could hear voices, but couldn't understand what they were saying. He drifted in and out of consciousness and was aware that the wolf was still by his side. There was one face that kept appearing through the fog. He had long silken black hair, and was clearly Indian, and if he had been in a better state of mind, it might have frightened him to be in an Indian camp, but this man seemed to ooze peace and comfort, and so Sully allowed himself to relax and drift back into darkness.

A commotion brought Sully out of his slumber, and for the first time in days he didn't feel like his head was swimming. His fever was gone, and although he was still weak he felt like getting up and checking things out. As he moved the flap on the teepee he saw a group of men gathering. They appeared to be going hunting, and Sully was intrigued. From his right a voice stated calmly "HaHo" Sully turned to see the same face that had watched over him the past few days. "uh… sorry. I…don't" Sully stammered. How could he thank him if they didn't speak the same language?

"It is ok. I have learned English. My name is Cloud Dancing." He waited for Sully to process everything before continuing.

"How long have I been out?" Sully asked.

"You have been here for four days. I am not sure how long you were in the cave before I found you. You, and your wolf were in poor shape." Cloud Dancing nodded towards the creature still perched at Sully's feet. "He would not leave your side. I took it as a sign that he belonged to you. Is this so?"

Sully couldn't help the smile that crept across his face. "I found 'im in that cave, just before I passed out. I'm sure he was just scared."

"Wolfs do not usually choose people as companions. You must be kindred spirits." Cloud Dancing stated firmly. "He will help give you purpose." He continued.

Sully was amazed at how this man seemed to know him already. "My name's Sully. Thanks for takin me in." Sully declared.

"One who is lost, sometimes needs help finding his way again... You will hunt with us?" He asked.

"Oh, uh, sure. I've only ever used a gun though. You'll have to teach me." Sully revealed.

Cloud Dancing was impressed. Most white men would not want to spend time with his people, let alone let one of them teach them how to do something. This man was different, and Cloud Dancing could feel that they were kindred spirits as well. They would be great friends, and Cloud Dancing knew that Sully needed guidance.

So it came to be that Sully lived with the Cheyenne Indians. Cloud Dancing taught him everything he could, and Sully was like a sponge. He couldn't get enough of the tradition and soul that these people possessed. He had never witnessed anything like it, and it enraptured him. Slowly but surely Sully learned to speak Cheyenne; and this opened the door to the rest of the tribe. He was quickly becoming an adept hunter and fisher with wolf by his side, and had a real talent for wood carving. Aside from Abigail's death still haunting him, he felt more at peace with who he was than he ever had. Sully could see himself living out the rest of his days in the woods with these people. He thought that he would never have to see another white man for as long as he lived.

After talking with Charlotte, Michaela was more determined than ever to make her new life in Colorado Springs work out. She had come too far to give up; she only hoped the stunt with Jake Slicker had done the trick. Only time would tell.

Michaela had some things to buy at the store before heading back to the homestead, so she said her goodbyes. As she loaded her things on to Bear she glanced towards the meadow and saw Sully. It was the first time she had seen him in weeks and she needed to let him know that she had packed up all of his things. Not sure what to do with them, they were still lying in a pile at the foot of the bed. Michaela had felt like an intruder, but couldn't help her curiosity. She was shocked to find that Sully had not always looked as he does now. Judging from their wedding photo, he was once more conformed to societies standards. However, against her proper Bostonian upbringing, she preferred him as he was now. There was something wild and untamed that drew her to him.

Looking back towards the meadow she realized that Sully was on the move. She would have to be quick if she was to catch him. She hurried her way down the street, and as he got closer she could tell that something was wrong. Then noticing the departing soldiers she realized that it must all be over. "What happened? Is it over?" she inquired.

"It's over all right." Sully replied without stopping.

Michaela was racing to keep up with his long stride. "They reached an agreement?" She asked, hoping that he would elaborate a bit further.

"In a manner of speaking. Chivington threatened war unless Black Kettle surrendered the reserve south of Sand Creek." Sully replied impatiently.

"But why?" She asked wide eyed. The thought that the Indians would be further caged almost brought Michaela to tears. She had been a firm abolitionist, and stood fast to her belief that all men should be treated equal.

Sully stopped. He realized that she wasn't just patronizing him. She truly cared what happened to these people, and Sully felt his heart warm before explaining. "He wants to impress the brass back east. Get em to grant statehood so he can become the first governor."

"But that's hardly a negotiation." Michaela exclaimed. She knew she was preaching to the choir, but it still irked her that the United States government would treat anyone in such a way.

"Chivington didn't come to barter. He come to steal." Sully's emotions were running too high to be around her right now. After his dream this afternoon, he wasn't sure he should be around her at all, and without another word he walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

DQMW Ch 6

Sully stormed off into the woods. He needed to release some steam or he was going to explode on someone. After reaching his lean-to he removed the poncho covering his shoulders, along with his work belt that held his knife and tomahawk. Un-tucking his shirt, he began to chop wood. For some reason, the physical strain and the repetitive nature of chopping wood calmed him. It allowed him an energy release and gave him a chance to think all at the same time. Unfortunately as soon as his mind quieted over the wrong doings towards his Cheyenne friends, Sully's mind went to Michaela. He could see her face clearly as if she was standing in front of him. _Get a grip_, he thought, as anger rose in his chest. He didn't want to have feelings for the new doctor, but despite his efforts she crept into his thoughts and dreams time after time. _Abigail's only been dead for 2 years. It's wrong, so wrong. You just better get used to bein by yourself. _Sully thought over and over. Sully stood chopping wood until fire tore through his biceps. Being alone wasn't a good idea right now. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop his mind from wandering; he needed to be busy. And so he set off for the new Cheyenne camp.

After their encounter Michaela went about life as usual. She had gotten used to seeing Sully in town when she was there, but now that negotiations were over he had disappeared all-together. She hadn't seen him for weeks, and was surprised when she found herself wondering what he was doing. Every time she went into town she couldn't stop herself from searching for him.

"You lookin for somebody?" Charlotte asked with a smirk. Sully had always been a good friend to Charlotte and the kids, and ever since Abby died Sully had taken it upon himself to help them out where he could. He would bring meat at least twice a week, and when the weather was nice he would take the boys fishing. Charlotte had grown to know him very well, and had seen the way the two exchanged glances when in close quarters.

"what?" Michaela asked. She floundered for an excuse before settling on "I… I was looking for Sully. Rent is due next week, and I haven't seen him around to give it to him."

"Well, he comes by the boardin house twice a week. I can give it to him if ya like" Charlotte replied to see how the doctor would react.

"Oh… I supposed that would be fine." She replied rather disappointed that her excuse to see him was being taken away. And furthermore she was sadden by the fact that he came to see Charlotte and the children on a regular basis, but hadn't bothered to check on her at all. She wasn't sure why she thought he should, but he was her landlord after all, it wouldn't kill him to look out for her a bit.

Her mother's voice rang in her head. "It is improper to think of such a man as a suitor. He is beneath you. You are a Quinn from Beacon Hill." But Michaela couldn't help herself. She barely knew the man, but found that her mind often drifted towards him while her hands were idle.

On a brisk afternoon Michaela was struggling to chop enough wood to get her through the next few days. She had been at it for an hour and barely had enough to get her through the night, let alone the coming days. An image of Sully standing at the stump without his shirt chopping away effortlessly flew into her mind. Michaela involuntarily blushed, and was shaken from her musing when she heard a horse approaching. It was Jake Slicker! Michaela wasn't sure what to make of him coming all the way out to the homestead so she played it cool and greeted him warmly. It turned out that her plan had worked. Jake wanted her to take a look at Robert E.'s lumbago, but he had also thanked her for the ointment that helped heal the cut on his hand. He actually thanked her. It wasn't much, but it was a start. She had her foot in the door.

The next morning she made her way to town early. It seemed like it had been forever since she could use her skills as a doctor and she was itching to get going. Unfortunately, Robert E. was even less receptive than she thought he would be to her help, but after expressing her displeasure with being judged unfairly, Robert E. gave in. During the examination he let slip that the reverend had posted a new advertisement for a doctor, and Michaela was livid. She set off for the church in a fury, demanding to know why they were looking for a new doctor when she was already here. Before the reverend could give her a comprehensible answer Michaela heard a familiar voice yelling for her.

"Dr. Mike! It's Ma! Rattlesnake got her." Brian was screaming from the bridge. Without another thought Michaela urged her horse towards the boarding house. _Not Charlotte, please not Charlotte. _Michaela thought before she dismounted and rushed into the house.

Charlotte had been visiting an expecting mother a ways out of town that morning, and afterwards they were to swing by a farm and get some supplies to fix the chicken coop. She had taken Matthew along so he could load everything up. Charlotte stepped out of the new parents' home and was saying her goodbyes as Matthew prepared the wagon. Without thinking she reached down to pick a dandelion that was still blooming in front of a pile of rocks, and was instantly struck in the arm. Her face drained of all color as she looked around to Matthew.

"Ma? What is it? Ya all right?" Matthew could see the worry on her face as he hopped down from the buckboard.

"Matthew… it was a rattle sna…" she said before collapsing in his arms. The venom was already coursing through her body.

Matthew knew that she wouldn't stand a chance without help and so he lifted her into the back of the wagon and set off for town. By the time they arrived Charlotte was covered in sweat and vomiting profusely over the side of the wagon. Matthew was praying that the Doctor was in town, and started yelling that he needed help. Everyone came running and helped Matthew get her inside and into her bed. Luckily Brian had seen Dr. Mike ride by not moments before and ran to get her help. She would know how to save his Ma.

Michaela examined the puncture wound and knew instantly that Charlotte had received a large amount of venom, as the wound was red and swelling by the second. The children were huddled together in the corner and Michaela knew that she had to give them something to do. She instructed each of them to their job, Matthew was to fetch cold water, Colleen was to bring a glass of cider, and Brian was to hold Charlotte's hand. The young boy was trembling, but followed his instructions. There was nothing to do but keep her comfortable and try to keep her fever down.

"What are you all doing here?" Charlotte asked gently. She was drifting in and out of consciousness.

"You were bitten by a rattlesnake." Michaela answered. She was trying her best to disguise her fear, but could feel her voice shake.

"Oh yea…" Charlotte responded as she struggled for breath.

"You're going to be fine…" Michaela found herself saying, more for her benefit than anything else. She knew very well that there was nothing she could really do to help her. None of her medicines would help, but she had to believe that Charlotte would be ok. She couldn't lose her only friend, she just couldn't.

So, Michaela mixed some quinine and laudanum and instructed Colleen to give it to her mother. Before she could drink a full gulp she wafted into unconsciousness once again. Michaela panicked and set to finding a heartbeat. As she leaned in closer Charlotte came to and Michaela could see the fear in her eyes. She felt so helpless.

"Dr. Mike…" Charlotte breathed

"Charlotte…" Michaela didn't know what to say.

"One thing…" Charlotte struggled to get the words out.

"Anything…" Michaela answered, holding back the tears that were breaching her eyes.

"Please…please… take care of my children." She choked out.

"Charlotte…not me. I mean… I… I don't know anything about children; raising them. I'm afraid they don't tell you anything about that in medical school. Besides, you're going to be fine." Michaela lied. Her heart constricted as she thought about being responsible for the upbringing of her best friends children.

"Please promise. Promise me…" Charlottes voice was barely audible, but Michaela could see in her eyes that she was deathly serious. She trusted her with the three things she held most dear, and Michaela couldn't deny her.

"I promise." She turned back to her mortar and began to grind more quinine into a powder, and found herself wishing that Sully was there. He knew the children so well, and would be able to comfort them, as well as her. She couldn't be a mother. Not like this. She had no idea how to care for a child, let alone three! Michaela ground at the pills in a fury.

A peace came over Charlotte, and she turned to look at her children one last time. Before anything else could be done she was gone.

Matthew was heartbroken. He went over the day's events again and again trying to find where he went wrong, how he could have prevented all of this. But it wasn't his fault. It was Dr. Mike's. She was a doctor and didn't do anything to help his mother. She just stood there helpless like the rest of them. Matthew felt the anger burning in his chest that his mother had asked this woman to take care of them. He could take care of his family, he was almost of age. They didn't need her.

Sully sat straight up. He could have sworn that he heard a voice calling his name. As he lay back down he could see Michaela's face full of tears. Something was wrong. He needed to get to town, and fast.

Michaela knew that the children would need some time with their mother, so she excused herself and went down to the kitchen. As she slumped in the chair she placed her head in her hands and allowed the tears to come. She couldn't believe that Charlotte was gone. What was she going to do without her? Charlotte was the only person in this town that had been there for her.

Michaela sat there for hours just staring at the table. As dusk began to fall she heard footsteps on the porch and the door creak open. She raised her head to see Sully standing in the doorway. Tears came to her eyes again as he stepped in. "You ok?" Sully asked with concern. Dr. Mike looked like she had been through hell and he wanted more than anything to pull her into his arms and comfort her, but he wouldn't make the first move.

Michaela rose and rushed to him. She needed someone to help her, to comfort her. As they met he opened his arms and she collapsed against his chest. "She's gone." She sobbed. "There was nothing I could do." She looked up at him pleading for him to believe her, but was amazed to see no judgment in his eyes, only concern. "I know. The reverend told me what happened." Sully explained. He had met the reverend in the meadow on his way to town and the whole day had been replayed for him. His heart hurt, but he was more concerned about Michaela and the children, so he had composed himself quickly and headed to the clinic.

"It's ok Dr. Mike. I know you did your best." Sully tried to comfort her.

"But the children… there was nothing I could do… and their mother is gone. She wants me to take care of them… how do I do that Sully? I don't know how to take care of children." She sniffed.

"I'll help ya Dr. Mike. You're not alone." Sully replied without a second thought.

Michaela was mesmerized by this side of Sully. So far she had only seen the rough mountain man, but standing before her now she knew that he meant every word, and she felt relieved to know that he would be her friend. The pair broke apart when a knock came to the kitchen door. Sully turned to open it and found the reverend standing with his hat in hand.

"Dr. Mike, I'm sorry to bother ya, but we need to get things settled with Jake." Michaela, unsure of what he meant looked to Sully.

"I'll take care of it. Why don't you make some tea and sit down. I'll be back in a few minutes." Sully explained, and squeezed her hand before following the reverend to the barber shop. He wasn't sure why he had jumped in, but he felt the need to protect Dr. Mike and the children in any way he could.

The arrangements were made, and two days later the funeral was held. Sully hadn't gone very far from the boarding house, and on the day of the funeral he stood in the background towards the large oak at the entrance to the small graveyard. He wasn't ready to be seen supporting the doc and the kids, but he wasn't far, in case they needed him.

Michaela had kept busy cleaning the boarding house and getting things in order there before the funeral. The children had kept to themselves, and she couldn't blame them. She was no more excited about being together than they were, but she had made a promise and intended to keep it. The day of the funeral finally came and Michaela stood with the children, trying her best to be supportive. However when matthew passed her by to put dirt on the casket Michaela knew that he was not going to make this easy. All she had to do was look in his eyes to see that he blamed her for his mother's death.

For a week, Michaela divided her time between the boarding house and the homestead. As the group was settling down for dinner one evening a resounding knock came to the door. It was a banker informing them that Charlotte had left many unpaid debts, and the boarding house was being foreclosed. So, the children had no choice but to move in with Michaela at the homestead.

In a way Michaela was relieved. She wouldn't have to go back and forth any longer and they could all settle into a routine, but she was terrified. Her whole life was changing and it was out of her control to stop it. Moving day came and Michaela anxiously awaited the children's arrival. She had done her best to rearrange the house in order to accommodate all four of them, but she wasn't sure how they would all fit. It would have to work, at least for now.

As they rounded the corner Michaela could already tell that she was in for a fight from Matthew. His shoulders were hunched and he shot her cold glances. Pulling the horses to a stop he stated " The horses are ours. So is everything else. We're free to take it when we leave."

"But you just got here." Michaela said. She wasn't sure how to diffuse Matthews anger. They were in this together whether they liked it or not.

"I'm gonna be stayin in the barn." Matthew said without a glance.

"I don't wanna live here." Brian chimed in. His usual cheer was clouded over with discontent, and Michaela suddenly felt out numbered.

"Well, you got no choice." Colleen explained. At least she didn't seem to be angry, just resigned. Michaela wasn't sure that was any better.

"There's room for a cow in here." Matthew shouted from the entrance to the barn.

"Yes, well the truth is I don't know how to take care ofr one." She replied, but before she could continue Matthew jumped in.

"But you know how to take care of us right?" he spat

"Now wait a minute Matthew. I never claimed to know anything about being a mother." Michaela immediately regretted using the term mother for Matthew waisted no time.

"You're not going to be our mother." Colleen was tired of hearing them fight and instructed Brian to get out of the wagon.

"I didn't mean that. You know what I mean." Michaela had to smooth things over or this could get out of hand. "I'm just not good at being a homemaker. Most doctors aren't, and that's what I am. A doctor. I was hoping that we might learn from one another. I'm willing if you are." She said softly as Matthew softened somewhat.

Brian interrupted "I wanna go home"

Matthew snapped back "Well you can't"

Brian took off down the road as fast as his little legs would carry him, but Matthew quickly caught him. "Where do you think you're goin?" Matthew asked. "I'm goin to live with the Cheyenne." Brian shouted. If he couldn't go home he wanted to live with Sully. Sully would take care of him.

Michaela pulled Brian out of Matthews embrace and was shocked when he threw his arms around her waist. She was heartbroken for the boy. Michaela couldn't imagine what Brian must be going through.


	7. Chapter 7

DQMW Ch 7

_Thanks for sticking with me guys, and thanks for the comments! I'm really enjoying writing this. Let the saga continue! Of course, none of these characters are mine. Please Read & Review!_

Michaela stood wrapped in Brian's embrace and looked to the other two children for direction. Met with confused desperation Michaela felt her heart sink. She had to pull herself together. Wanting to get things settled as soon as possible she directed the children into the house and after showing Brian and Colleen the alcove where they would sleep, she settled into the rocking chair with a sigh. Staring into the fireplace, Michaela contemplated her next move. She had no one to ask for advice, and felt desperately alone. Before she could fall into further depression Colleen poked her head around the curtain divider and asked "Dr. Mike? Would ya like me to get dinner started?"

Michaela wiped at the stray tears before responding "Oh Colleen… that would be lovely." She could only hope that Colleen could offer some guidance with her brothers. Moments later Brian appeared and sat at the table to wait on dinner. Michaela was in awe of the young girl's skill. Without a thought Colleen whisked about the kitchen throwing things into a large dutch oven, and within the hour the meal was on the table.

Dinner was rather serene compared to the afternoon's tirade, and after the group finished, Michaela thought it best that they turn in. It had been a long and exhausting day and everyone needed a good night's sleep. Before getting herself ready for bed she sat down at the hand-made wood desk and began to write a letter to her mother. If anyone could offer some advice on child rearing, it would be her. Although it would take weeks for a response, Michaela felt comfort in knowing that some form of advice would soon be on its way. Quickly she sealed the envelope and headed towards her bed to change clothes. Staring into the floor length mirror, Michaela thought _tomorrow would be the start of their new life as a family. _

Days passed and they settled into a routine; chores were divided and the daily grind seemed to take their minds off the dark cloud that had fallen around them. So much had changed in such a short amount of time, but they were adjusting well. Michaela settled on the porch steps to snap green beans, and allowed herself to think back to the days before she left Boston.

"_Oh Michaela, won't you give up this charade? You should be settling down and starting a family, not gallivanting across the country all by yourself. You're not getting any younger." Elizabeth barked. _

"_Mother… why can't you see that I AM a doctor? I can't help it if most men find that unappealing. I don't need a husband, or children. I'm not like you Mother, or my sisters for that matter. Being a doctor is who I am. I have to go where I am most needed. And right now that is in Colorado. Please…try to understand that." Michaela replied somewhat softer. She didn't want to hurt her mother, but she couldn't stay in Boston, that much was clear. _

"Dr. Mike?" His voice brought her out of her daydream as her stomach fluttered. Usually Sully's presence would elicit a unique excitement, but today Michaela's nerves were frayed and she hated that feeling. It made her feel like a school girl that couldn't control her emotions.

"Oh, Sully. Hello." She replied .

Without returning her hello Sully continued. "Ya ok? Seemed like you were thinkin awful hard on something" The dark circles under her eyes clued him in to her state of mind, and once again he fought the urge to hold her.

"Oh yes, fine. I was just thinking about my mother." She said solemnly. They hadn't really talked about their families, and the thought of enlightening him as to the state of her relationship with her mother left Michaela drained.

Sensing that she didn't want to explain Sully picked up the conversation. "I brought you a turkey for dinner." In fact Sully had been hunting for 3 days to find a turkey for her. He had been dying to check on her, and the children, but couldn't show up without a reason.

Michaela didn't like to be babied. She could do this all by herself. "That's kind, but you really didn't have to. We're doing just fine"

Sully was surprised by the ungrateful nature of her comment, and before he could think better of it he replied. "Well, I was just tryin ta help. You don't gotta do everythin on your own ya know. Those kids mean a lot to me too." And with that he stormed off towards the woods. Michaela could feel the blush creeping into her cheeks as shame set in. _Why did she have to be so stubborn and prideful? _

Sully regretted his outburst immediately, but he wasn't used to such a stubborn woman. How could he help her if she was too proud to accept it? He needed to clear his head and then find Cloud Dancing. His guidance was desperately needed.

A few days later the new family arrived in town early. Michaela was in need of some medical supplies and since they had quickly depleted the food that she had purchased, they needed groceries badly. Each member went to a different corner of the store to look for their different items. Brian headed straight for the candy jars that lined the dividing wall shelves. Michaela found his expression endearing, and made a note to buy him some something before they left. She turned back to her shopping and was sifting through a basket of apples to find a few good enough to go in a pie when she heard a loud crash. Michaela knew what it was before turning, but was surprised to see Loren yanking Brian off the stool he had used to reach his booty. Enraged, Loren set out to reprimand the boy, but was cut short by Colleen. "Let go of him!"

"He broke my candy jar." Loren fumed

"It was an accident." Brian innocently replied. Michaela felt for the boy, but knew she would have to handle this with a stern hand, or he would walk all over her.

"And, he got up there after I told him not to do it." Loren was looking to Michaela now, curious how she would deal with the situation.

"Did you disobey Mr. Bray?" Michaela asked sternly

"I just wanted to look" Brian said more defiant than before. He liked Dr. Mike fine, but now that she was yelling at him, he didn't like her one bit. His ma never would have gotten mad at him.

Michaela turned to Loren and asked about the damage. After settling that he would charge her for the jar and the candy inside she turned back to Brian.

"Who's gonna clean this up?" Loren asked. Michaela raised her eyebrows and looked to Brian. Although he was young, he would have to learn that if he made a mess, he would have to clean it up.

"I don't know how." Brian whined.

"Then you'll learn." Michaela replied, pleased that she had handled things so well.

"I hate you…" Brian mumbled.

Michaela's heart fell. She knew that the child didn't really mean it, but it hurt nonetheless. She wasn't sure that she would ever get used to a comment like that being thrown around, but she couldn't let Brian see weakness now. So, she directed Colleen and Matthew back to their shopping and stepped back towards the apples, leaving Brian to his chore. After a quick thanks to Maude she noticed that the elderly woman was struggling to pick up a large sack of flour. Michaela subtly passed her an envelope full of digitalis, a powder that would help to slow her heart rate, and told her to take it easy for a while. She knew that Loren would never permit her to treat his wife, but Michaela hoped that Maude would follow her advice or the consequences could be dire.

Remembering the letter she had written to her mother a few days ago, Michaela excused herself from the store and headed to the telegraph office. As she walked down the dusty street, black medical bag in hand, she glanced around for Sully. She hadn't seen him since he stormed away from the homestead and she wanted to apologize. It seemed as though he had vanished yet again, so she picked up her pace and entered the minute office. Horace lived in the tiny building, which appeared to only have room for a bed in back.

"Morning Horace, I need to post a letter." She informed him.

More loudly than intended Horace responded, "huh?"

"A letter…" she answered louder this time.

"Oh, I think I'm losin my hearin" he explained.

After some gentle persuasion Michaela stepped into action. It turned out that Horace had a blockage of ear wax that was obstructing his hearing. Once removed, Horace was ecstatic that the doc had actually helped, and thought that perhaps she was a good addition to their town.

On her way back towards the general store Michaela heard a voice coming from the alley that ran along the saloon. One of Hank's girls was asking for help, and so Michaela headed for the swinging doors that lead into the shadowy establishment. She stepped in and immediately the smell of whiskey and tobacco singed her nostrils, beyond that there was the dank smell of body odor that caused her stomach to turn. Pushing past her reservations she stepped towards the bedroom where she had seen the young woman. But before she could make it very far she heard Hank's voice ring out. "I'm gonna have ta ask ya to leave miss."

"And I am going to have to refuse." She replied calmly and headed for the young woman waiting in the corner. A whistle caught her attention and she turned to hear Hank once again "Ladies aint allowed."

"I'm not a lady… I'm a doctor" she quipped and escorted the young woman towards her room. After a short introduction Myra awkwardly explained that she was having a female problem. Michaela examined her and found that she did indeed have a venereal disease, no doubt contracted from one of her clients.

After spending a few days at the reservation with his Cheyenne friends, Sully realized that he had over reacted. Dr. Mike was under a lot of stress, and he hadn't been very understanding. As he passed the livery the families' wagon came into view. Taking in a deep cleansing breath he headed towards the mercantile. Sully entered the store to find the children gathering their purchases.

"Hey Sully!" Brian exclaimed.

"Hey Brian…" Sully replied, but was obviously distracted. He was looking for Dr. Mike. He needed to apologize for storming off the other night, but he didn't see her anywhere in the store. Snapping back to attention he asked "How are you kids holdin up?" Matthew and Colleen both shrugged as Brian thrust forth his predicament. "Dr. Mike made me clean up the candy jar I broke, but I didn't mean to. It aint fair. I just wanted to look."

Ignoring Brian's comments Sully asked the older two "Where is she?"

Matthew was the one to reply. "She went to the telegraph office to send a letter. Aint come back yet."

Without another word Sully set off for the telegraph office, but stopped outside the saloon when he heard her voice from within.

Michaela ordered Myra to rest and not to work for at least a month so that her body could heal.

"Hank'll be mad as hell." Myra said with a hint of fear in her voice.

"The bartender?" Michaela asked. She had seen him around town, but hadn't had the chance to meet him formally. "You leave Hank to me…" Before she could leave Myra presented her a set of fake pearls. The young woman was immensely grateful for the doctor's help.

Michaela knew that it would not be easy to get Hank to agree to Myra's treatment, so she steeled herself for the fight to come. "Hank, I've ordered Myra to remain chaste for a month."

"Chaste?" Hank replied with a breath of smoke.

"She doesn't work." Michaela replied steadfastly.

"She works for me…" he drawled. The way the words oozed out of Hank's mouth made her skin crawl, but she was not going to back down as she heard another patron chime in "Unless you wanna take her place" The room full of men laughed, and Michaela instantly became uncomfortably aware of the fact that she was in a room full of unfamiliar men. But regaining her wit she replied "I'm afraid that's not my line of work gentlemen. As I said… I'm a doctor, and I'll expect to be hearing from any of you foolish enough to spend time with Myra before that month's up." She could feel Hank's eyes on her as she looked back towards him. "Get out" He stated firmly with a glare.

Michaela made to move towards the door when the man closest to her stuck his leg out, blocking her way. He stood up to challenge her "We aint quite finished with you lady." Michaela's heart sped up as her resolve melted away. "Get out of my way" She whispered, trying her best to disguise the quiver in her voice. As the man pressed forward hands abruptly tore him away from her form.

Sully had watched the whole scene play out from the porch of the saloon and was appalled to see how these men treated Michaela. He moved inside just as Carl stepped towards her, and Sully saw red. Hurling himself towards Carl, he snatched him and tossed him out the front door. In an instant Carl's friend were on him. Sully deflected the first as he threw him across the bar, but couldn't miss the second man's fist that connected with his jaw and propelled him onto the bar top. Wrapping his legs around the advancing man he threw a punch that knocked him towards Michaela. He crouched down as the guy righted himself and kicked him square in the jowl. Sully straightened just in time to hear "I aint afraid of you mountain man…" On instinct Sully threw his tomahawk, knocking the gun from Carl's hand. Before things got out of hand any further Sully took Michaela's hand and pulled her towards the exit.

The children were waiting near the wagon, and Michaela couldn't stop herself long enough to explain. "Get in the wagon. Come on…" Matthew could tell that something was wrong, and pushed the horses into motion. Michaela reached her hand towards Sully as she said "Thank you…" Electricity jolted through both of them as their hands touched, and Sully stood in awe of the woman pulling away from him.

Michaela had never seen such a display of violence, but couldn't help the way her heart swelled at being protected. Sully had risked himself to save her from these men, and she shuddered to think of what could have happened had he not been close by. Lost in her thoughts she turned as Colleen stood up in the back of the wagon and gently placed her hand on the young girl's. She turned again to look at Brian this time just as he turned his head in obvious aversion. This morning's incident in the store seemed like a lifetime ago to her, but Michaela could tell that he was still angry with her.

As they reached the homestead Brian stormed into the house and slammed the door. Michaela looked to Colleen, and found a gentle smile on her face. It made her hopeful that this would soon pass, so she set to taking care of the laundry as Matthew and Colleen went about their chores. Brian didn't say a word the rest of the evening and went to bed without dessert. Distracted by the events of the day, Michaela paid little attention to Brian's behavior.


	8. Chapter 8

DQMW Ch8

_I can't believe it's taking this many chapters just to get through the pilot! Haha. Please let me know how you like it! Been really busy with work so postings will spread out a bit, but I'll still try to get at least one chapter up a week. _

_Thanks-Ash_

The dishes were done, and Michaela felt exhaustion overtake her. As she closed her eyes the image of Sully standing in the middle of the street seemed seared into her brain. He had been so protective, and Michaela couldn't help the butterflies that crept in when she thought of his masculine form fighting for her honor. Not being used to relying on a man, aside from her father, it frightened her to think that she needed him.

Dawn broke and the rooster began his morning ritual cries to the sun. Michaela hadn't slept well and sighed as she drug herself from bed. She wanted to get a head start on the children and prepare breakfast. Crossing the room she could see Colleen's sleeping face through the partition curtain. She smiled as she thought about what a wonderful young woman she already was. Charlotte had done such a good job teaching her the ways of a house. She wasn't sure what they would have done without her these past few weeks. As she pulled the curtain further to check on Brian her heart sank. His bed was empty.

Michaela called out his name, but there was no answer. Brian had run away, and Michaela instantly felt guilt building in her chest. He was so angry with her yesterday. Perhaps she hadn't handled his mishap in the best way, after all he was still so young. She dressed quickly and rushed towards the barn to saddle Bear. Michaela felt as though she had failed Charlotte. The children had only been with her a few weeks and Brian had already run away. She had to find him.

Frantic, Michaela set off into the woods, not knowing which way to start or where in fact she was even going. After a few hours she came across a stream and stopped to allow her horse to rest and get water. She realized that it was probably nearing lunch time as her stomach grumbled. But, she was determined that she wouldn't eat until she knew Brian was ok, so she set off again. After wandering for hours Michaela came into a clearing and allowed her head to drop for a moment as the tears burst forth. _Please… just help me find him. Give me some direction._ She thought. As she did Sully popped into her head. Brian had always wanted to live with Sully and the Cheyenne! That was it! But Michaela quickly realized that she had no idea where the Cheyenne were, let alone where she was in relation to them. As if an answered prayer a group of Cheyenne braves burst forth out of the woods, scaring Michaela half to death. They were yelling at her, but she couldn't understand. They surrounded her and began to direct her back into the woods. Michaela couldn't help the unease that she felt, but knew that there was no sense in fighting them. She was vastly out-numbered.

They reached the village just as night fell. Michaela prayed that someone spoke English and would be able to help her, but was shocked when one of the men pulled her from her horse and forcefully moved her towards a nearby teepee. Michaela's heart was racing as she braced herself for the unknown. The flap of the teepee was pulled aside and she was thrust onto the ground, but relief filled her as she saw his familiar face. Sully was sitting beside the Chief, and from the looks of it was surprised to see her.

After the altercation in town, Sully thought it best to make himself scarce. He was finding it harder and harder to put his feelings into place. It seemed like every encounter he shared with the lady doctor brought more and more feelings that he didn't want to deal with. Sully decided that his best bet would be to immerse himself in the Cheyenne village for a while, and at all costs to stay away from the homestead and from her. Black Kettle had asked for his company, and so after dinner he made himself comfortable beside the Chief to discuss further treaty options for his people.

As Sully settled into the conversation a disturbance could be heard outside. And just as he was about to investigate he heard the words "white woman" as the flap to the teepee was flung open. Sully's heart leapt involuntarily when Michaela appeared. It seemed as though the spirits had no intention of him staying away from her. The brave that brought her in pushed her in frustration and Sully had to fight back the urge to jump up as he saw her fall heavily to the ground. Their eyes connected and he could see that she was frazzled.

"Please… tell them to let me go." Michaela pleaded.

Without responding to her, Sully spoke in Cheyenne and asked why they had brought her to their camp. The brave explained to Sully that they had found her wandering around and brought her with them so that she would not be hurt. Sully was relieved to know that she was not in danger, and looked back to her to explain what had been said.

"He says you were lost and he brought you here for safe keepin…" Sully did his best not to show any emotion as he spoke.

"I wasn't lost." Michaela stated emphatically before realizing that in actuality she had no idea where she had been when they stumbled upon her. "Well… maybe I was. Brian ran away. He got it in his head to run off and live with the Cheyenne, he thinks you live with them." Michaela was working herself up the more she explained, but seeing the calm of the men around her grounded her. "You're his hero."

"Is that right?" Sully murmured. He wasn't sure how to respond to that. He didn't feel like there was much in him to look up to, but before he could give it much thought Michaela jumped back in.

"That's right. So, he's out there somewhere wondering around in the cold with wild animals." Michaela was hoping that Sully wouldn't make her ask for his help. After everything he had done for her, and the way she had treated his help, she wasn't sure what he would do. Chief Black Kettle was motioning as he asked Sully what was wrong. He knew a bit of English, but not enough to fully understand the doctors predicament. Sully quickly explained and without a thought Black Kettle responded.

Quizzically Michaela looked to Sully for explanation. "Chief Black Kettle says his people will search for the boy as soon as it is light enough to see."

Michaela was so relieved. "Thank you…" She whispered as she tried to convey her appreciation through a look. Sully translated to black Kettle "Ha Ho'o"

Michaela wanted the words to come from her mouth so she tried to repeat. "A ho"

"Ha Ho'o" Sully corrected. He was mesmerized by the respect that she was giving to Black Kettle. Sully told Michaela to follow him. He took her to his teepee and made a fire to stave off the chill in the air. Knowing that he couldn't just sit here all evening staring at her he quickly left saying "I'll be back"

Michaela wasn't sure what to do, so she sat down by the fire and tried to warm herself. The teepee was surprisingly cozy, but she couldn't get Brian out of her mind. He was out there somewhere, cold and alone. A couple of hours passed and Sully returned. Before he made it fully into the teepee she was on him.

"how long before we go?"

"You're not goin." Sully replied curtly. He wasn't in the mood to play around. It would be bad enough trying to find the boy without her slowing him down, but Sully knew it would be difficult to get her to stay. "The women stay in camp"

Michaela hated male hypocrisy. She could search for Brian just as well as any of the men, and she wasn't about to let someone else take control of finding him. She couldn't just sit around and wait for someone to come to the rescue, that much she had learned a long time ago. "Not this woman."

Sully fought the smirk that was rising. Something about her stubbornness intrigued him. Never had he come across such a woman. She wasn't afraid to try anything, but wanting to protect her from the harsh journey they would no doubt have to face he continued talking into the fire. "You know, the Cheyenne believe that if a woman acts like a brave, she'll become one."

"I'll risk it." Michaela wondered what he must think of her. But as she glanced his way, she didn't see the harshness that was expected. Instead Sully seemed worried. As their eyes met they both looked away quickly. Why was it so hard to be in close proximity to each other? Sully sighed and moved to the other side of the fire to offer her a piece of corn. She was visibly tired, and he was sure that she hadn't eaten all day.

But, Michaela refused. Again her conscience eating at her to have a warm place to sleep and food while Brian was in the wilderness alone. Swallowing the lump in her throat she said "No, I'm not hungry."

"You wanna look for the boy come sun up? Then you'll eat, hungry or not." Sully felt like a parent scolding a child, but he knew she was punishing herself and he couldn't stand it. Playing his cards right, she took the corn from him and took a slow bite. Sully could see the tears pooling in her eyes as she reminisced "the last time I ate corn, I was sitting on the banks of the river Charles."

"where's that?" Sully asked.

"Home…" As soon as the word left her mouth it felt wrong. Boston wasn't her home anymore, and yet she couldn't help but miss her younger years when things seemed more cut and dry. Although her road was difficult, she only had herself to think of. Now with the children, everything seemed much more complicated. Michaela needed someone to talk to, and she hoped that Sully would indulge her. Since Charlotte's death she hadn't truly talked to an adult and it was starting to wear on her. " Do you ever get homesick Mr. Sully?" She wasn't sure why she had called him Mr. It didn't seem to fit, but propriety dictated that she should not use a first name for someone she was so unfamiliar with.

Sully's brisk reply "nope" left Michaela feeling isolated. But, she needed some reassurance. "Do you think he'll be allright out there all on his own?"

Sully didn't want to give her false hope, so he replied. "There's no way of really knowin" But, as soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them.

"I let Charlotte down…" she whispered.

Sully knew that she needed him to soothe some of her guilt. "No you didn't. Ya did your best." He was fighting the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss away her pain. "Sometimes life just has a way of takin its own course…" He knew the words held double meaning for him. For tonight he wouldn't take his anger out on the beautiful woman sitting next to him. She needed him to be strong. And although he wasn't sure where they were headed, he was sure that their lives would be intertwined from here on out. He couldn't fight it any longer. He would try to be her friend. With another sigh Sully stood, removed the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and stepped towards her. He wrapped it around her shoulders and once again felt the electricity as their hands met. He allowed his hands to linger longer than necessary as he thought about giving her a hug. Thinking better of it, he sat back as she positioned herself next to the fire.

Michaela too felt the spark between them. These feeling made her nervous, and she needed to focus on Brian right now. So she curled up in the blanket and lay down to rest for a while. She closed her eyes, but could sense that Sully was moving to the other side of the teepee. Drawn to him like a moth to flame, she opened her eyes to find him propped up on one elbow, gazing into the fire. Her pulse quickened as his azure blue eyes danced in the light. She couldn't stop her mind from thinking how handsome he truly was, but was also keenly aware of how different they were. She dropped her gaze wondering how she could be attracted to such a man.

Sully was fighting his own internal battle. He was worried about Brian, but he was even more concerned about her. For the first time since he had met her, Michaela seemed fragile. Sully glanced towards her again, and felt his heart swell. She had to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Even in her current state of disarray she was stunning. Her coppery hair shone in the dim firelight and Sully wondered what it would be like to run his hands through it. He focused his gaze back to the fire. Sully was trying his best not to make her uncomfortable, and even wondered if it would be better to leave her alone, but deciding that would be for his own selfish reasons he lay down. After a few more shared glances they both drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

DQMW Ch9

_I was on a roll last night, so I got a lot more written than I thought I would. So here goes…_

_Read & Review!_

_-Ash_

Throughout the night Sully drifted in and out of sleep. He wanted to keep an eye on the fire to make sure that she stayed warm, but more than that he wanted to get a jump on first light. Sully knew that Dr. Mike would never forgive herself if something were to happen to Brian, and he was determined to be the one to find him. It was torturous watching her sleep in his teepee. Now that she was asleep, Sully could admit that something about it seemed so natural, and he wondered how he could possibly feel so comfortable with a woman he barely knew. _Don't get used to it. _He thought. _She just needs your help. Everything will go back to normal tomorrow._

As dawn broke Sully stepped outside to relieve himself and to get ready to depart. Groups of Cheyenne Braves were also gathering as they discussed where to look first. As he headed back to his teepee to wake Dr. Mike came storming out. Her eyes flashed as she lashed out at him "Why didn't you wake me?"

"I was just comin to…" Sully answered. The peaceful ambiance of the prior evening lost in the morning light. Sully reminded himself that she was exhausted and worried, so he bit his tongue and went about his task.

Michaela felt awful for assuming that Sully wasn't going to wake her, but was too proud to apologize. So, Michaela gathered her things and began to saddle Bear so that she would be ready. She was anxious to get going and Michaela was again surprised that Sully did not ride a horse like the others, but kept her questions to herself.

Without a word he walked towards the outskirts of camp, and Michaela took that as her cue that they were leaving. So, she kept as close as possible without trampling him. She didn't want to risk him leaving her behind. They headed towards the mountains, the opposite way of the braves.

In the light of a new day, and the fact that Brian had been gone for over twenty four hours, Michaela was in a panic. She had a feeling that if anyone could find him, Sully could, and she prayed that they would find him soon. Sully kept quiet while Michaela screamed Brian's name over and over again. He was focused on any sign that the boy had been through this area. Without anything for wolf to get his scent, Sully was flying blind.

Back in town, Matthew had gone for help. He had a group of townsmen gathered to form their own search party. They started from the homestead and set out into the woods. Before long they came across the Cheyenne search party. Loren, assuming that it was a war party, sent one of the men for the Army. Matthew had the feeling that this was turning into an Indian hunt instead of a search party for his little brother.

After an hour of searching, Sully and Michaela came to a stream. Wolf's ears perked and he ran to a large fallen tree. On top laid a piece of clothing. Faithfully, wolf brought it back to Sully, and Michaela instantly recognized it as part of Brian's shirt. Sully thrust the fabric back into Wolf's face and instructed him to find. His heart lightened a bit, as he knew that wolf would find him quickly, it was just a matter of what kind of shape the boy would be in. Wolf immediately took off up the side of the mountain and Sully did his best to keep up with Michaela trailing behind.

As the trio reached the top of the ridge wolf began to whimper. Brian was close. Sully noticed the small footprints and then what looked like he slid down the hill. Leaning over, he said a quick prayer to the spirits that Brian was alive. Michaela finally caught up and fell to her knees nearly knocking Sully over as she looked over the hill. There he was, he was lying still and for a moment Michaela feared that he was dead. "Brian! Brian!"

Finally, he moved and looked towards his rescuers. "Don't worry. We're gonna get you." Michaela promised and looked to Sully for instruction. Instead she found him already removing his hat and the blanket that shielded him from the cold. Without a word he started down the hill. As he descended Michaela thought about how selfless Sully was, and she was astounded. She had never known a man that would put himself in harm's way to save another, and the feeling that they were kindred spirits enveloped her.

Sully quickly reached the boy and lifted him easily to his back. Instructing Brian to hold on tight, Sully began the trek back up the hill to Michaela. Relief set in as Michaela pulled Brian to her in a warm embrace. After showering is small face with kisses she heard him groan and realized that he was hurt.

"Where does it hurt?" She asked him quickly. "My leg" he whimpered. Michaela lay him down to assess the damage and found that his leg was broken just above the ankle. She looked to Sully "His leg's broken. I need a splint."

"I'll get something." Sully said as he took off to find something suitable. He was back in a matter of seconds, and Michaela instructed him to hold Brian while she set the bone. "here son, bite on this." Sully told him as he placed a small branch in his mouth. Sully had had a few broken bones in his life, and did not envy the boy the pain setting his leg would cause. He brushed the hair from his eyes and tried to soothe Brian the best he could. The gruff mountain man exterior had melted away, and was replaced with a kind and gentle spirit.

Nodding to Sully, Michaela braced herself for what she had to do. Never had she been responsible for someone so close to her, and for the first time since she was in medical school, she doubted her abilities. However, she had no choice. Brian's leg had to be set before they could move him. Getting a grip around his ankle she placed weight on his thigh to keep him from jerking, and swiftly pulled his leg into line. Aside from a wince, Brian barely made a sound.

Michaela looked to Sully and was rewarded with a small smile and nod to say that she had done well. "I need your knife." She said. Sully handed it over and watched as she cut a strip of her petticoat to tie the sticks together for a splint. Sully stared in awe. The women he knew never would have done something like that. But of course, they wouldn't have been here in the first place, he reminded himself. Sully scooped Brian up, and making sure that he was comfortable started back down the hill. This time he was slower so that Michaela could keep up. He looked back in time to see her slide a bit. "Put your hand on my shoulder to steady yourself." Now that Brian was found, nervousness set in again at the impropriety of being alone with a man in the woods, but she didn't argue and used his sturdy frame to steady her descent. Once at the base of the hill Michaela took Bear's reigns and they walked back towards town.

Neither had said anything but had shared many sideways glances on the way back. Sully could hear voices in the distance and picked up his pace. They came across a small knoll and found the Cheyenne search party. Cloud Dancing was at the front of the pack, and jumped from his horse when he saw that the boy was injured. But, Michaela affirmed that he was fine before he could take a look.

The sound of horses caught their attention and everyone froze as the Army appeared at the top of the hill behind them. Dread filled Sully. He knew that the Army would be unforgiving and could easily kill the friends that stood before him.

Matthew had returned with Colonel Chivington, and was doing his best to talk him out of attacking the Indians. Just as they crested the hill, Matthew thought he spotted Dr. Mike, and his heart fell as Chivington ordered his men forward.

The band of braves instantly mounted their horses and took off towards the reservation. Michaela and Sully moved into the trees for protection. Sully knew there was nothing that he could do to save them now. Michaela however knew that this was all because she asked for their help, and couldn't bear the thought of this group of men being slaughtered because of her. As the Army troop rounded the bend of trees she stepped out with her arms raised to halt the attack. Sully was too slow in his attempt to stop her. "What are you doin?"

"No! Stop! You don't understand! Please listen to me! Stop! Stop!" Michaela shouted. The troop stopped just short of trampling her.

"Damn it woman!" Chivington groused from the back of the mob. He pushed his way to the front of the pack to confront her. Meanwhile Sully set Brian down and moved to place himself between Michaela and Chivington. Sully knew that Chivington hated the Indians and wouldn't let anyone, not even a woman, stand in his way of killing a few.

Chivington was now talking to Sully "YOU are interfering with government business." Before Sully could respond she jumped in. "No, we're not." Michaela gently touched Sully's arm and he immediately backed down. "This is a search party sir. My boy was lost, and these people tried to help me find him."

Chivington paused, realizing that he had been beaten. Not wanting to be a pushover in front of his men he argued. " The Cheyenne have broken federal law by leaving their reservation in a number greater than two."

Sully was having a hard time no lashing out, but he held back and let Michaela finish. "That's my fault sir. Please accept my apology." With a huff, Chivington ordered his men to fall back. Michaela turned to hear the Cheyenne yelling "Ha Ho'o" She smiled, knowing that she had kept them from certain death.

As she turned back she spotted Matthew racing down the hill. "Brian?" he inquired. "He's all right." Michaela informed him. The three raced towards the small boy and knelt down beside him.

"You sure told em Dr. Mike!" Brian beamed. Sully thought the same thing. She had been wonderful in her defense of the Cheyenne.

"thanks" Matthew said sincerely. He had been so hard on their new caretaker, and was truly grateful that she had Brian back safe and sound. "Poor Colleen will be worried sick by now. Let's go home." Matthew lifted Brian and started towards the horses. As he situated Brian in front of him Michaela pulled Sully aside.

" Sully…?"

"yea Dr. Mike?" He replied looking her square in the eye.

She looked up into the crystal clear blue of his eyes and felt compelled to tell him everything she had been holding back. But, she settled for thanking him. "Thank you so much for finding Brian. I don't know what I would have done…"

"It's no problem. Any time you need me, you just let me know." Sully knew he was pushing his own boundaries, but he needed her to know that he was willing to be around for her and the kids. "Well… I guess I better be goin" he stammered. He didn't want to go, but felt awkward joining the family home.

"Wait… won't you join us for dinner? I think we have a lot to celebrate." She said shyly averting her gaze.

"Yea Sully, ya gotta eat with us." Brian shouted from Matthews lap.

"Uh, all right. I'd like that." Sully gave in. He offered his hand to help her up the last bit of hill, and their eyes met before she took it. As before, sparks flew through their touch and Michaela's pulse quickened. She smiled demurely and stepped ahead of him on the path.

Matthew rode ahead with Brian firmly in his grasp as Sully and Michaela walked behind with Bear in tow. Tonight would be the first of many dinners to come where Sully joined the family at his homestead. It was indeed the start to something very special.

_Thanks again everyone! R&R!_

_Lots of Dr. Quinn Love!_

_-Ash_


	10. Chapter 10

DQMW Ch 10

_Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I've had a bit of writers block, and Life happens. As always thank for reading. Hope you enjoy. _

_-Ash_

"I guess I better be goin…" Sully reluctantly stated. He had finished his coffee and couldn't think of an excuse to stay any longer. The children would be heading to bed soon and Sully didn't want to be left alone with Michaela.

"I'll walk you out" Michaela sputtered in an almost shout. She had been lost in her thoughts and wasn't expecting him to leave so soon. She rose and grabbing a shawl headed for the door. Sully pulled on his belt and jacket and pulled the door open for her to exit ahead of him.

The two stepped out of the house, and neither one could put into words what they wanted to convey. Finally as Sully reached the last step Michaela spoke. "Thank you. I never would have found Brian if it weren't for... I… I don't know what to say. Just thank you."

Sully's mouth slacked open as he took in her heart felt plea. She had been the most infuriating woman since she moved in, but he found nothing but humility and genuine thanks oozing from her now. "Ya don't gotta thank me. I'm just glad he's all right… Dr. Mike…. I… I'll always be around if ya need me. All ya gotta do is ask." And with that he stepped into the darkness with wolf on his heels.

It was Michaela's turn to stand with her mouth open and stare after him. What did he mean? Was he just being friendly? He cared for the children, nothing more she tried to convince herself.

Days turned into weeks and once again Sully seemed to have disappeared. The family settled back into their daily routine as fall settled in, but Michaela constantly found herself looking for Sully. On Thanksgiving she was shocked that he didn't come by. Perhaps he didn't acknowledge holidays now that he lived with the Cheyenne. Michaela started to wonder if she had said anything to scare him off, but as she went through their last conversation she grew more and more discontented. He said he would always be around. But where is he?

Two more weeks had passed without a sign. It was only a few more weeks until Christmas, and Michaela was determined not to let thoughts of Sully ruin it. So, Michaela took the kids in to town to do a little shopping. This would be their first Christmas as a family and she wanted to make it special. Colleen was picking a beautiful fabric to make a new dress for the church Christmas party, and Michaela had just turned when she saw Brian eying a carving of a wolf.

"What caught your fancy Brian?" Michaela leaned down to the boy's level to get a closer look. Brian, too entranced to talk, pointed at the carving. "Looks like Sully's wolf" Michaela stated fondly. Not only was she missing his presence, but Brian had been inconsolable the last week. Brian, convinced that Sully was mad at him since he hadn't been around since he ran away, had cried himself to sleep the past three nights. The longer Sully was absent the worse he got, and Michaela hoped for his sake that Sully would come around soon.

"It is!" Reverend Johnson explained "Sully's the one who carved it."

"I thought he was a miner" Michaela questioned, standing back up to look at the other adults in the room. She knew that Sully was good with his hands, because she had seen the care that went into the furniture in the homestead, but carving was a whole different thing. It was so artistic.

"He's a misfit" Loren groused as he pushed himself into the group.

"So why do you sell his carvings?" Matthew shot back.

"I didn't put it there." Loren fired

"It belonged to our daughter…" Maude explained with a slight pain to her voice. Before she could continue Loren cut her off. "That's enough…"

Not wanting the situation to get out of hand, and seeing how much Brian adored the piece Michaela stood. "I'll buy it." She felt a twinge of satisfaction as Loren's jaw dropped open.

Michaela's pleasure at her small victory was soon squashed as she heard Maude gasping for breath as she crumpled to the floor.

"Maude… the powder. Where is it?" Michaela asked frantically as she unbuttoned the top of her dress.

"What powder? What are you talkin about?" Loren groused while he kneeled down to help his wife.

"Maude, listen to me." Michaela was frantic.

"Let's get her upstairs to bed" Loren was determined not to have the lady doctor treating his wife. All she needed was a rest.

"NO! She shouldn't be moved!" Michaela exclaimed. Maude was having a heart attack and Michaela was helpless without the medicine.

"G..G…Gone…"Maude choked out.

"Oh my god…" Michaela raced towards the telegraph office praying that the package from Chicago had just come in on the stage. She wasn't used to knowing what could help a patient, but simply being without the proper medicine to treat it due to the mail system. It was horrifying, and she knew that if Maude died, Loren would blame her.

As she reached the telegraph office she caught her breath and started to frenetically ask Horace if the mail had come in. Without a question she spotted the bag and dumped it out, frantically looking for the package she needed.

"It just aint come yet" Horace aquieced.

_Oh no! This can't be happening. _ Michaela thought. She sprinted back to the general store just as Maude took her last breathe.

"Do something…" Loren pleaded.

"There's nothing I can do." Michaela whispered. She wanted to cry. She wanted someone to wrap her in their arms and tell her it would be all right. _Oh Sully. Where are you?_

It wasn't long before a crowd had gathered around the store, effectively snapping Michaela out of her daze. She needed to get the children away from all this before the whispers started. Luckily Matthew was way ahead of her and had prepared the wagon and ushered Colleen and Brian out of the store. At the threshold Michaela turned to look back at Loren holding his wife's lifeless body. "I'm sorry..." Michaela choked as a sob escaped her. She covered her mouth and headed to the wagon.

Little did Michaela know, Sully had gone to the Cheyenne winter camp. After their close encounter with Brian, Sully felt the need to distance himself from the little family living in his homestead. He was too tempted. At dinner, he could envision himself as a part of their family; it felt so natural to be sitting at his kitchen table with the family around it chatting warmly. It was like he had always belonged with them, and that feeling scared Sully to death. He had to put some distance between them. The 4 day walk to the camp served to clear his head, and Sully found that he felt better than he had for a while. The first two weeks were easy. Sully settled back into daily life with the Cheyenne and was able to push thoughts of Michaela and the children to the back of his mind.

As the second week started, so did the dreams. The first night Sully was jolted awake in a cold sweat. He couldn't remember what he had been dreaming, but felt a heavy sadness looming over him. The next two nights he wasn't as lucky.

_It was a crystal clear evening. Sully sat gazing into his campfire when the sky opened up and bulky snowflakes began to fall. Standing, he extended his hand to catch the year's first snow. Despite the cold, Sully felt numb. He turned to enter his tent when a scream echoed in the distance. Sully stood stock still and strained to hear any noise that would indicate where the scream was coming from. Another noise came from his right, and Sully took off in a sprint. As he approached he swore he could hear a woman's voice. Her words were garbled until he reached a small clearing in the forest. She was calling his name. _

"_Sully… Sully…Please, I need your help."_

_He knew that voice. It was one he had been trying to forget. It was Dr. Mike. "Dr Mike?! Dr. Mike! Where are ya?" Sully replied frantically. The wind whipped around him distorting his sense of direction. Again he took off in a run, and before he knew it he was falling down an embankment. _

Sully sat straight up. "Michaela!" He screamed. She needed him. Something was terribly wrong. Sully was shocked out of his reverie as the thunder of horses and shotgun fire rang throughout the camp.

The wagon ride home was quiet. None of the children knew what to say, and in turn neither did Michaela. She felt like she had let them down. As a doctor, she is supposed to be able to help when someone is hurt. But, there was nothing that could be done for Maude. Lowering her head she tried her best to hide the steady stream of tears running down her cheeks. _Sully…Please, I need your help. _Colleen prepared dinner while Matthew tried his best to entertain a confused Brian. They had laid out the checker board and were sprawled out on Michaela's bed. Michaela sat in the rocking chair facing the blazing fire with her arms wrapped firmly around her torso. She couldn't shake the look on Loren's face as he gazed at his wife's cold body.Death was something she could handle, but losing a patient for lack of a simple drug was simply unacceptable.

"Dinner's ready" Colleen cooed. Michaela smiled slightly and rose to eat with the children although her appetite was nonexistent. The family ate in near silence as Michaela pushed food around on her plate.

"Don't ya want anymore?" Brian finally asked. Michaela hadn't noticed that they were all done and cleaning up. "No, thank you" She whispered and handed her plate over.

Colleen saw this as an opportunity to lift her spirits some as she asked "Ya still haven't read your letter." Colleen had caught a glimpse of it sitting on the kitchen table as she cooked, and couldn't help noticing it was from Boston. Maybe some news from her family would cheer her up.

The result was the opposite. After reading the letter out loud that spoke of her sister's new baby, and her Mother's continuing disapproval of her decision to live in Colorado, the dam broke and Michaela lost her composure. Sobbing was not Michaela's style, but now that she had started she couldn't seem to stop herself. She felt so alone. Of course, she had the children, but she couldn't talk to them about the things that were bothering her. She put on a brave face and smiled. There was no need for them to worry unnecessarily about her.

Everyone excused themselves for bed, and once again Michaela was left alone with her thoughts. Perhaps her mother was right. The town was no closer to respecting her as a doctor, and after losing Maude, she expected it would set things back again. She could take the children back to Boston with her and pick up where she had left off. Perhaps it would be easier this time. In theory there was nothing holding her back.

Michaela had just drifted off to sleep when a deep thud was heard on the front porch followed by loud banging on the front door. She scrambled from bed and turned up the bedside lamp as she asked shakily "Who is it?"

"It's Sully… Open up!"

Relief captured her heart as Michaela leapt forward and unlatched the door. "Black Kettle's been shot." Sully explained as he led in two Cheyenne men carrying the chief.

Michaela quickly turned to doctor mode and began giving orders. "Put him on the table."

"Chivington and his men ambushed the village. Burnt it to the ground… massacred nearly everybody." Sully explained. He was so relieved to see that Michaela was all right after his troubling dreams, but he had to focus. Black Kettle needed help, and Sully knew that Michaela would help him, no questions asked.

Michaela began to palpate her patient, quickly discovering the source of his pain. "There's a bullet lodged in his neck."

"Can you get it out?" Sully asks impatiently.

"I think so… But, the swelling's constricting his air passage. He can't breathe. There's something else I have got to do first." She explains and heads towards her chest of drawers to retrieve a scalpel.

"Wh…what?" Sully is nervous. He knew that Cloud Dancing was wary of bringing the chief to her in the first place, and one wrong move and all hell would break lose.

Michaela quickly returned with a tray of instruments and antiseptic and swiftly doused her hands. Picking up the scalpel she headed straight for Chief Black Kettle's neck when she felt a hand grab her wrist.

Cloud Dancing was glaring at Sully. He would not allow some white woman to cut on their Chief. Sully tried his best to explain to Cloud Dancing that she knew what she was doing, and that they had no choice but to trust her. After a moment's pause, Cloud Dancing reluctantly let go of her arm.

Sully turned back towards Michaela and mumbled "You better know what you're doin" He was silently praying that he had made the right decision to bring him to her. If Black Kettle died, the blame would be on him.

Michaela stiffened at his comment. She had never expected Sully to doubt her. _Of course I know what I'm doing!_ She refocused her attention to her patient and steadied her hand to make the cut. "It's called a tracheotomy" she explained as she made the incision. She glanced around the room; She needed something for him to breathe through. _A feather!_ Without a word she reached for Sully's necklace and tore off the closest feather. Cutting the tip off she blew through the end to ensure air could pass and stuck it into the hole in Black Kettle's throat. It wasn't the most sterile of options, but it would do. "This will help him to breathe." With a glance to Sully he held the feather in place. As their fingertips touched Sully felt a spark flow through them. _How could one touch ignite this much feeling?_ Sully thought.

Michaela had felt the spark too, but was too focused on her task at hand to give it a thought. She reaches for the chloroform to offer some comfort for the chief while she digs the bullet out of his neck, but he refuses. Adeptly Michaela extracts the bullet and the whole group releases a sigh of relief.

The men move Black Kettle to the bed so that he can rest more comfortably. The Cheyenne men sat on the floor next to the bed while Michaela and Sully settled in at the kitchen table next to each other. Michaela has wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and is unconsciously huddled towards Sully as he sits with his elbows propped on the table. They sit in contemplative silence for what seems like hours before Sully speaks. "Soon as the sun's up, Chivington's men will search for Black Kettle's body. When they don't find it, they'll come lookin'."

She responds immediately switching back into doctor mode. "You can't move him. It could start the bleeding again. Besides… I need to stitch up that tracheotomy when the swelling goes down." She wanted desperately to keep Sully around for a while so that she could ask him where he has been, but now is definitely not the time. She can tell that he's worried, and she wonders how he became so attached to this particular group of men.


	11. Chapter 11

DQMW Ch 11

_Sorry for the hiatus, but thanks to everyone for prodding me to continue! You guys are awesome!_

_-Ash_

Wrapping herself in her shawl Michaela leaned in to ask the question that had been swirling through her head since Sully knocked on the door. "How did you get so involved?" She braced herself for his temper to flare at being asked such a direct question, but instead watched as he contemplated the reason for her question. Seeing the genuine concern etched on her face Sully knew he had to tell her the truth.

"See that wolf over there." He began "People say it's evil, but it's been a friend to me… Same thing with the Indians. Thirty years ago when the white man first set foot in this territory, there was thousands of those wolves. Then the government put a bounty on their head, and now there's just a few hundred. Way I see it, same thing's happenin' to the Indians."

Sully studied her face as she processed the information he had given her. He could tell that she was debating on the next course of action, and he prayed that she wouldn't turn them away. As quickly as the thought entered his mind he felt foolish. Since they had met he had become increasingly aware of her generosity and caring heart, and he knew without a doubt that she would help them, and his heart swell with pride.

Michaela squirmed under Sully's penetrating gaze and finally whispered "We can hide Chief Black Kettle in the barn".

"Thank you" Sully replied sincerely. He was amazed at the brave woman sitting before him. Most white men, and especially women, would be running for the hills, but not Michaela. She gave up her bed so that Chief Black Kettle could rest comfortably and was willing to put her family in danger to help save his life. Sully was in awe, and found himself staring into her mismatched eyes with wonder. Michaela hugged herself and gazed back as a blush crept up her cheeks. She had never had a man look at her in such a way, and she wasn't sure how to react to it.

In a flash the moment was gone and Sully cleared his throat. "Well… uh, I guess we should move him so you all can get some sleep." He stood slowly and spoke to his friends in cheyenne. In moments they were moving Black Kettle towards the barn with Michaela in tow directing them not to mess with the tracheotomy. After settling the chief into a pile of hay Michaela whispered to Sully "Just let me know if you all need anything. I'll check on him first thing in the morning."

"Good night" Sully murmured. A smile twitched at the edge of his lips at the thought of her in bed. As if reading his mind Michaela blushed again and answered in kind before skirting out the door and back towards the homestead.

_ "Dawn approached and a lazy fog had settled over the valley. Sully stepped out of his lean-to and stretched. He felt rejuvenated as he gazed at the rising sun. A noise caught his attention and he turned back to his make shift bed to see his blanket move slightly. Reaching for the cover he pulled back slightly and caught sight of her glowing face. She looked like an angel sleeping in the middle of nature. Sully felt his pulse quicken and his breath hitch as she murmered his name. _

Dawn broke and Michaela rose to check on her patient. The thought of Sully being so near had kept her up all night. Without dressing fully she pulled her shawl around her shoulders and slipped into her shoes. Before she could reach the door Brian's voice called to her. "Dr. Mike? Where ya goin? Where's Sully? Is Chief Black Kettle still alive? Are the soldiers gunna try to kill Sully?" The barrage of questions pouring from his mouth was enough to make her head hurt.

Sighing Michaela crouched to the boy's level to explain the delicate situation they were in. "I was just going to the barn to check on Chief Black Kettle. He is still very sick. Stay in the house."

"But I wanna come with ya. I promise I'll keep quiet."

Knowing that she wasn't getting out of this easily and not having the energy to argue she gently acquiesced. "Oh, all right. But you stay with Matthew."

Everyone was awake and gathered around Black Kettle's sleeping form. Brian made a bee line for Sully and Michaela couldn't help but smirk at the child's eagerness to be with his hero. One of the braves spoke to Sully in Cheyenne and in turn Sully asked "He wants to know how long it will be before we can move him?"

Returning to doctor mode Michaela replied firmly "At least a day before the tissue binds enough." Sully relays the message and looks back to her. "You better go back up to the house." He knew that soldiers would be coming through any time now, and he didn't want to risk the family any more than was necessary. His instinct to protect them was growing by the minute, and in turn made him more and more uncomfortable as he reminded himself that this was not his family to take care of.

"Come on Brian… Boys…" Michaela whispered and shuffled them towards the door. Before she could get far she was drawn to look back at Sully. His eyes said everything. He was sorry for putting her in this situation, but desperately grateful for her help. And perhaps Michaela saw something more. A hint of desire? _Don't be silly. He's shown you on more than one occasion that he is your friend…nothing more. _

As she exited the barn she heard horses coming up the road and set out at a run for the front door. Once inside the house the family scrambled to cover any trace of the previous evenings events. Colleen made quick work of the bed as Brian and Matthew set the table for breakfast, although none of them had an appetite. They had to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Michaela felt as though her heart would pound out of her chest. If Black Kettle was found she would certainly be arrested, or worse, executed. She couldn't bear the thought of putting the children in that position, but what was done was done. She had to grit her teeth and take what came.

Moments later the soldiers were pounding at the door. She used her shawl to cover her head to disquise herself a bit and answered the door. The last thing she needed was for one of the soldiers to recognize her from the spat over Brian. In her thickest southern accent she asked. "Can I hep ya?"

After a quick search of the house they left. Michaela held her breath and thought they were in the clear before one soldier stated "Check the barn" Luckily Sully had been watching and as the soldiers approached he motioned for the braves to get Black Kettle out. Waiting for the right moment he threw his tomahawk and released the rope that was locking the barn door.

Michaela tensed as she waited for the commotion announcing that the soldiers had found their stow aways, but as they left Michaela felt herself panic, fearing the worst. Had they killed them without her realizing? If not, where had they gone? No sooner were the soldiers out of sight and she was running for the barn. "Sully? Sully… Su"

"I'm here" He replied cutting her off from behind the barn. He was silently pleased with the frantic tone of her voice. She was worried. Quickly righting his thoughts he explained "We just moved him into the woods a bit. I think he's hurtin pretty bad."

"Bring him back here. I'll give him something for the pain. He needs to rest." Michaela was once again in doctor mode and giving orders. This was where she was comfortable.

Once Black kettle was settled back in the barn Michaela excused herself. As she latched the door the flood gates that she had been holding back opened and her tears sprung forth. Alone for the first time in days she couldn't hold back any longer and she cried quietly into her open palms. A hand on her upper arm startled her and she quickly wiped away the moisture clinging to her cheeks.

"Dr. Mike? Ya ok?" Sully had sensed her agitation and followed her into the house. "yes…fine." She lied. "How are you?"

"Fine. But I don't think you are. Wanna talk about it?" Sully gently prodded.

A silent head shake was his answer, but he couldn't help notice the tremble of her lower lip. Was it crazy that he found her more beautiful when she was crying even though it tore at his heart to see her that way? Before he knew what he was doing he moved her into his embrace and her head settled on his chest as she sobbed. The electricity between them was undeniable and Sully held his breath at the unintentionally intimate gesture. Sully could feel the moisture seeping through his shirt, but made no move to extricate her from his arms. He could have stayed like this forever. All too soon she lifted her red, puffy eyes to his and issued her apologies. "I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. I shouldn't have…" Sully chuckled slightly at her Bostonian manners poking through. "Ya don't have to apologize. Ya didn't do nothing wrong. Sometimes everyone just needs a good cry." Sully steered the conversation away from their embrace. "After he's had a rest and you've stitched him up, we're gonna move on. It aint safe for him to be here. If anything happened to you or the kids I'd…" Sully stopped himself as he realized again that he was voicing his innermost thoughts that Michaela would most likely find inappropriate.

However as he looked at her face to find her reaction he was met with nothing but warmth and he instantly felt better. She wasn't threatened by him looking after them.

If only Sully had known how Michaela longed for him to stay and look after her and the children. She would never say such a thing. She was taught that a lady always waited for a man on such matters, and so she patiently waited for him to continue. When she was met with Sully's terrified gaze a blush crept up her cheeks. She had judged wrong again. Sully was being friendly as always and she had assumed he meant more.

"I'm… gonna go… uh… check on Chief Black Kettle" Sully sputtered out as he left the house.

As dusk approached the trio of Cheyenne mounted their horses to leave. "Had to borrow one of your horses son."

"Proud to lend it" Matthew offered with a swell of pride.

"I can't promise you'll get it back." Sully continued. He had imposed on them enough, and knew that there was a very slim chance the horse would be returned. However he was proud when matthew answered. "No harm."

"Your ma did a good job raisin you up" he replied before returning his attention to the Cheyenne.

"aint you ridin with em Sully?" Brian asked from his perch on the front steps.

"Nope"

"Why not?" Brian pushed.

"fraid of horses" Sully replied looking at everything but Michaela. She stood shocked to learn that he was afraid of an animal.

"Naw, really?" brian replied with mirth, thinking that his friend was pulling his leg.

"Yep. Always have been. Everybody's got something their afraid of." As Sully met Michaela's gaze she looked away. She felt as if Sully could read her like a book. She was terrified of him, Of what she felt for him. She had never felt anything of this nature towards a man. Not even David. And that shook her to her core.

Before she could dwell on the pull between herself and Sully, Black Kettle was motioning towards Michaela with a smile on his face. "Chief Black Kettle just gave you your Cheyenne name." Sully told her with a smirk. "Medicine Woman…"

Michaela's face lit up at the honor bestowed on her, but more so from the way the words came out of Sully's mouth. He saw her for what she was, and better yet seemed to be proud of her for what she was. That was new. Michaela smiled gratefully at the Cheyenne men as they rode off.

"What will he do now?" Michaela asked. "what he never wanted to do… fight." Sully replied brusquely. He had known that this was coming for some time, but was not looking forward to the hard road his Cheyenne friends would have to travel.

As the group left Sully realized he was surrounded by the small family. His heart told him that he wanted to stay, to be a part of this. But his head told him he needed some space. He had his chance at a family, and it was taken from him. He couldn't get that back. "Well uh… I guess I'll be goin." He stepped away from them and could feel the disappointed looks from the children. Michaela kept her eyes down, afraid to look at him. She had left herself open to her desires too many times recently and didn't want her disappointment to read on her face. Sully lingered a moment and focused his gaze on her. She could feel that all too familiar pull and looked up. As their eyes met, she wanted to tell him to stay, but she couldn't find the words. And so Sully walked off with wolf at his heels only looking back once before he rounded the bend in the road.

**Only one more chapter and we'll be done with the pilot! FINALLY! Haha. Hope you're enjoying. Sorry again for the time between updates. I've just opened a restaurant and have been a crazy person for the last 2 months. I'm going to force myself to write, as it gives me a break and is a stress release! **

**Lots of love!**

**-Ash**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, so tell me how many of you are going back and watching the episode as you read? Makes it much more interesting. Without further ado, the rest of the story…**

**-Ash**

Michaela ushered the children into the homestead to start on supper. Her mind was a flutter and she needed to find something to shut it off. As colleen prepared for dinner, Michaela settled herself into the rocking chair by the fire to read a medical textbook. Try as she might she couldn't stop her thoughts from drifting to Sully. It made her feel as though she was a love sick teenager, not a grown woman in her mid-thirties. She had to stop this foolishness, she told herself, and yet there always seemed to be an unspoken link between them that caused her heart to hope.

Weeks passed and no Sully. He had disappeared yet again, and with each passing day Michaela became more and more distracted. The weather had turned and a hard arctic wind blew over pike's peak. Michaela couldn't help imagining Sully wandering in the cold, trying to find shelter. Perhaps he was sick, or worse, hurt. How would anyone know?

"Dr. Mike? Ya alright? Ya hardly touched your dinner. Didn't ya like it?" Colleen asked quietly. Everyone else at the table had finished and was staring at her. She had been pushing food around her plate for nearly 20 minutes without glancing up once.

"oh! Yes. It was lovely. Thank you. I'm just not very hungry." She replied with a blush. Far too often she had been caught with her thoughts wandering. _Get a grip!_ Matthew and Colleen exchanged worried glances, but said nothing as they cleared the table. Brian however was always curious and moved towards Michaela.

"What ya thinkin about?" Brian drawled.

"Oh, um, nothing important. Just day dreaming I suppose." Michaela stammered as a blush crept across her cheeks. "I think it's time for a story and then bed." She changed the subject quickly to avoid further discussion. Brian gave up easily, and Michaela breathed a sigh of relief. She had no desire to talk to the children about Sully, or to lie to them for that matter. So omission was the best policy.

Sully had been holed up in a cave about 20 minutes from the homestead. He couldn't bring himself to leave completely, but put the thoughts as to why out of his mind. So he focused on survival. Wake up. Chop wood. Make a fire. Hunt for food. The essentials to sustaining life were all he needed.

The days were easy. He found himself wandering the woods hunting for game, and it gave him something to focus on, but as always the nights proved much more difficult. Gazing into the licking flames of his campfire Sully could see her face. Her hair, long and flowing free around her shoulders, was a glowing bronze. Sully longed to run his hands through it to see if it felt as soft as it looked.

Every night had been the same. He dreamt of her. Some nights they were alone in bed, holding each other tight. Others they were with the children having dinner in the homestead as if he was a part of their family. No matter which dream he woke to his heart ached as guilt lanced through his soul. How could he even think such things? _You had your chance. Abigail was it. You can't have feelings for another woman. It aint right. _But Sully's head was losing the battle with his heart.

_Sully walked the all too familiar path to the front steps of the homestead. He could sense the warmth from within and longed to be enrobed in that feeling. His family was waiting inside. But as he opened the door the wind balked and the fire was gone. There was no one there. Sully looked around frantically for a trace of where they could have gone when he heard her voice. "Sully… Sully… where are you? We need you. It's Christmas."_

Jolted from his slumber in a cold sweat Sully realized it was 3 days before Christmas Eve. After everything she had done, he couldn't ignore them. It was only proper that he give them each a gift. He knew exactly what he would give her as he sprang from his pad to get to work.

Before the family knew it, it was Christmas Eve. _Finally, a night that would distract them all. Michaela thought._ Brian had talked non-stop for the past two weeks about Sully and the Indians, and how neat it had been that they were in their house. Michaela couldn't stand another question about when Sully would be back, when she wondered the very same thing.

Colleen was looking forward to the church dance, and Brian to the food at the Christmas party. Michaela had never had a family of her own, and was unsure of what the children's traditions were for Christmas. She didn't want to tread on their mother's memory, but also wanted to somehow make this holiday special.

The snow had been relentless, and Colleen was determined not to let her hopes of going to the dance be ruined. Matthew was staring out the window into the winter wonderland as he tugged at the tie constricting his neck. He hated dressing up.

"It's turnin into a blizzard out there. Can't we get out of these get ups?" Matthew asked.

"No! It's gonna let up any minute." Colleen exclaimed.

"hogwash" matthew replied unsympathetically. He just wanted to eat dinner and go to bed. Christmas was his ma's favorite holiday and he didn't like being reminded that she wasn't here to enjoy it.

"Shut up!" Colleen screeched.

"Stop it!" Michaela proclaimed with a slight edge to her voice. She had been listening to them bicker all afternoon and she couldn't stand any more. Everyone's nerves were on edge, but it was still Christmas after all. "Is that any way to talk on the eve of jesus' birthday?" Michaela scolded them lightly.

Colleen sniffled, and Matthew instantly felt like a heel. "Aww geez" he murmered.

Michaela moved closer to Colleen and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "Christmas isn't about parties, Colleen."

Colleen continued to sniffle as her tears dried. "I know. I was just countin on it for so long."

Michaela sympathized with the young girl. She had often wanted to go to parties as a child that she was deemed too young for. But by the time she was of the appropriate age she had lost interest altogether, making them seem like somewhat of a dream. Shaking herself from her reverie she directed the children to sing a few carols to lighten the mood. The family gathers around the table to eat supper. Holding hands Michaela prays "Dear Lord, Grant us the strength to accept the misfortunes of this past year. Please give us the courage to face the challenges that lie ahead. Whenever possible, watch over and protect us from harm. We thank you for bringing us together, for our good health and for this bread... And, Lord, please tell Charlotte we think of her often and miss her dearly. Amen."

Colleen is in awe "It always sounds like you're talking to God like he was sittin' here with us."

"I'd like to think that he is." Michaela replies softly. She can see the light at the end of the tunnel. She is turning a corner with the children. She's roused from her thoughts by Brian.

"Dr. Mike?"

"Hm?" she hums.

"Do you think Ma would mind if I called you Ma too?" He asks innocently. Brian has no idea that he has just given her the greatest gift she could ever receive. Her heart swells, and she looks to Matthew and Colleen for their reaction. The last thing she wants to do is to replace their mother, but she wants them to be a family. A real family. Gaining a slight nod from Matthew and a smile from Colleen she replies. " I don't think she'd mind a bit."

"Good." Brian seems comforted by the thought and settles back into his chair to enjoy the meal. Before the family can dig in there is a brusque knock on the door. Michaela is on high alert. There's no telling who it could be at this hour and in this storm. "Matthew…" she murmurs a warning for him to protect his siblings as she answers the door. Swinging it open she finds a mass bundled in blankets. As it moves she realizes that it's Sully.

Michaela's heart leaps and she can't stop the smile that lingers on her lips. _He came! _ "Hello." Sully issues curtly. He's walked for hours and is freezing, but he had to get to them.

"Come on in, warm yourself by the fire." Michaela utters. Sully is momentarily stopped in his tracks by the sight of her. She looks just as she did in his dreams, and she is breathtaking. It's as if she is a siren calling to his soul.

Sully moves into the house with wolf ever faithful at his heels and heads towards the fire. Everyone stares at him unsure what to do. Here they are all dressed up in their best clothes, and Sully has on buckskins and icicles hanging from his coat. Michaela takes a deep breath and steps towards the table. "Colleen…give him some tea." Before the sentence leaves her mouth fully she can hear whining coming from Sully. She looks up in time to see him present Brian with a wolf puppy. "Merry Christmas Brian"

"Thanks Sully!" Brian replies. He's squirming with excitement as he pets his new friend.

Sully continues with his gifts "Colleen…" He hands her a hand carved comb for her hair. Colleen thanks him and smiles. In turn he gives Matthew a whittling knife.

"Thanks" Matthew replies. He's surprised to have received anything from him. Michaela waits patiently as she knows her gift is last. Sully smirks, as if he's read her thoughts and pulls a large shingle from under his coat. Brushing the snow and dust from it he hands it to her. It reads. "M. Quinn M.D. Medicine Woman" Michaela is both honored and touched by the thought put into her gift. "Now that's a shingle." Sully states, remembering their first meeting as he made fun of the shingle she presented to him. She smiled from ear to ear and replied "It certainly is…"

"Merry Christmas" Sully said to the whole group with his eyes locked on Michaela's. He wanted her to feel how much she meant to him already. Her and the children. "Thank you" she whispered back. "You're welcome" he stuttered.

Sully became uncomfortable under her gaze as he realized he was intruding on their dinner. "Uh, good night. Merry Christmas" Sully murmured and shuffled towards the door. The children all looked to Michaela to invite their friend to stay. Michaela wanted nothing more than for him to stay. She hadn't seen him in so long and the thought of him leaving so soon made her heart drop.

"Wait! Please… stay. Eat with us."

"I'd like that." He mumbled with a smirk. She wanted him. It was written all over her face, but she had said it out loud. She didn't want him to leave. Michaela dropped her gaze demurely and moved to grab another chair. Sully settled in beside her at the table as they passed food. Their fingers grazed as she passed him the rolls and the all too familiar current sparked through them. Michaela gasped as Sully's gaze darkened.

**Don't worry folks, I'm not gonna leave out the bit after Christmas dinner. Hehe. Patience is a virtue. Read and Review!**

**-Ash**


	13. Chapter 13

DQMW Ch. 13

_**Hey Guys. So so so sorry that it has taken so long to update. Things have been crazy with the new restaurant and I have been really sick. Walking pneumonia for about 6 weeks while starting a new restaurant is not fun! Thanks for the encouragement to continue, especially Linda4him. Always so supportive, and I thank you! I am far from finished, it just may take me longer to update than I would like. As always, thanks for reading. Please leave reviews and let me know how you are liking things. This chapter may be my favorite so far. Things are getting juicy. Haha Just a warning, there are some lemony daydreams. So, if you don't like that sort of thing, don't read. **_

_**Read & Review! **_

_**-Ash**_

Michaela glanced up in time to see Sully's eyes change from crystal blue to a deep midnight and her breath hitched. Her instincts felt that Sully was trying to tell her something in his gaze, and her body responded readily. Before she could lean in to smile at him Brian interrupted their trance.

"Ma, how come Santa comes while you're sleepin?"

Michaela chuckles and turns to the youngest family member. "well, he has a lot of children to visit. And if each child were up, they would want to talk to him don't you think. He would never make it to all of the houses in time." Seeing that brian wasn't quite thrilled with her answer she added "but, if you aren't asleep he will skip your house and you wont get any presents at all." Brian's eyes were alight as he suggested "well, uh, maybe I'll just go get ready for bed. Night ma, night sully."

"I think we'll turn in too." Matthew added quickly. He had no desire to sit around and watch Michaela and Sully make eyes at each other all evening.

"g'night kids" Sully replied with a chuckle and settled back in to his seat. Suddenly Michaela felt uncomfortably close to him. The children were no longer there as a buffer, and they were sitting right next to each other at the table…alone. "Um…" Michaela uttered as she stood upright. "Would you like some more tea? I can put the kettle on. You must have been freezing…" She babbled on.

"Michaela…" Sully murmured. He could tell that she was nervous, but he wasn't sure how to help. If he thought about it, he should have dropped off their gifts and left them to have dinner as a family. Every minute that he stayed his soul took root. But, his heart wouldn't let him leave the reality his dreams had so readily created. He had felt like a part of their family, and as much as he hated himself for it, he didn't want that feeling to end.

_Sitting here at his kitchen table he could imagine that Michaela was his wife, and Matthew, Colleen, and little Brian were his children. They would eat dinner in much the same way every evening and would talk about their day. The children would clear the table and Sully would watch his wife as she guided them through their chores. He would catch her by the waist and pull her into his lap so that she could feel how he wanted her. Before she could protest he would kiss her with abandon. Michaela would smile and tell the children it was time for bed. Without breaking their gaze he would lift her in his arms and move them to their bed. Sully would take his time and unbutton her blouse as his lips moved across hers. "I love you Mr. Sully" she would whisper. "And I you Mrs. Sully. Do you know what you do to me?" _

_Her coquettish smile told him that she knew exactly what he meant, but wanted to play along. "I'm not sure what you're referring to. I've been minding my own business all evening" She bat her lashes with a smirk. _

"_Sweetheart…" Sully started but was silenced by her kiss. Sully pushed her back and covered her body with his. "god, where have you been my whole life?" He questioned as he ground his hips into her. _

"_Oh Sully… Sully… Sully…"_

"Sully? Where did you go?" Michaela asked with a quirk of her eyebrow. Sully groaned and adjusted himself. He would need to think about something else quickly before she realized what he had been thinking about. "uh, nowhere. I should really get goin. It's getting late…" He rambled as he searched for his coat.

Without thought Michaela placed herself between him and the door. "You can't leave! I mean… it's turned into a blizzard out there. It isn't safe… you could freeze to death. And besides, wolf looks rather comfy." Both looked to the animal sprawled out in front of the fireplace and Sully sighed. He knew she was right, but after his daydream he couldn't stay in this room with her all night without thinking of her, and it was going to kill him. _Think Sully! Think! You've gotta come up with something to get out of here._

"Sully… really. It's no trouble. I'd feel better if you stayed. I couldn't stand to think of you out there in this…" Michaela started and then realized that she was speaking out loud.

Sully's eyes shifted again to study her face and he realized that she was fighting their obvious attraction as much as he was, but why he didn't know. She looked so vulnerable, and he couldn't bring himself to hurt her by leaving if she really wanted him to stay. Clearing his throat he replied "uh, I guess I can sleep by the fire. That is if wolf'll give me some room." The pair chuckled in unison and the tension in the room lifted slightly.

"Would you like another cup of tea? It's still early…"

"Sure" Sully whispered and sat back in his vacated chair. Michaela returned a moment later with two steaming cups and eyed the chairs around the table. She wondered briefly if she should put some distance between them, but didn't want him to think she was pushing him away, so she finally decided to return to her seat next to him. "How you holdin up?" he asked

"Oh, fine. I mean, it's not quite what I expected, but the children are such a great help. They really are quite grown up. Charlotte did such a good job with them."

"You're doin a good job too. Those kids love ya. I can't think of anyone else that would be better for em." Sully answered her honestly.

Michaela blushed and stared into her mug. "I don't know. Sometimes I think that anyone would be better suited to being a parent to them than I am. But, I've grown to love them, and now I can't imagine my life without them. I suppose that's what happens with children." She looked up and found Sully smiling slightly at her. "what?" she asked with an edge of humor.

"Just… you amaze me. There aint many people who'd take in someone elses kids. Michaela, if it hadn't been for you those kids would probably be in an orphanage somewhere. You've given them a real home again. Trust me; I know what a great gift that is."

Michaela felt that there was an underlying story behind his complement, but she was scared to ask what he meant. "I…" she stammered. She wasn't used to taking compliments, and didn't know how to respond. "I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot to me that you think I'm doing a good job." She stared at him openly hoping that he could read her thoughts. "You've helped us a lot this year. Thank you… I'm glad you came by tonight. I had been wondering."

Suddenly Sully's pulse was racing. Was she going to admit that she had missed him? "Wondering?"

"Well… Brian was worried. We haven't seen you in a while. He thought something might have happened to you."

"I'm not used to havin someone worry where I might be. I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't apologize." Michaela flustered. "he's just gotten used to seeing you. He wonders where you are and what you might be doing; if you might be thinking of him."

"No matter where I am, I'm always thinkin about ya. I'll talk to Brian. Try to explain that sometimes a man just needs some space. Don't mean he don't care, or that he aint around."

Michaela chewed on her bottom lip and nodded. "Perhaps we should head to bed. It's been a long day. I'll get you a blanket…" Michaela said and rose from her chair. She crossed the room and pulled a throw from her trunk. She brought it back to the fire where Sully was standing. "Good night…" She whispered.

"Good night Michaela" he said in a husky voice. He laid the blanket down and stretched out to get comfortable. He stared at the fire until he heard her dress hit the floor and he realized that she was changing. _God help me… _

He couldn't help himself and rolled over slightly so that he could peek at her. Michaela's bare ankles shown under the room divider and Sully's breath caught. She was naked no more than 8 feet away and he felt himself harden at the thought. _This is gonna be a long night…_

_**Hope you enjoyed this figment of my imagination. They are fighting it so hard! Haha. **_

_**-Read & Review!**_

_**-Ash**_


	14. Chapter 14

DQMW Ch 14

_**Ok, the thoughts are rolling since this is all me and not coming directly from the show so, here's another update. Hope you enjoy!**_

_**-Ash**_

Michaela held her breath and she peeked through the divider as Sully pulled his shirt from his pants before settling down on the blanket. She could see the definition of his muscles flex as he moved and realized that she had been staring at his broad shoulders when she saw his head turn towards her. She broke away and pulled her nightgown over her head. Briefly Michaela wondered what her mother would think if she could see her now. She felt as though she had left all of her Boston propriety behind, but just for tonight she didn't care. Sully was her friend, and she couldn't let him sleep in the cold because it wasn't deemed "proper".

Michaela steeled herself and rushed to the bed. Flinging the covers off, she leapt underneath and pulled them tight around her chin. Her bed was angled so that she could see Sully whether she laid on her back or on her side, and she knew it would be hard to sleep knowing he was mere feet away. With hooded eyes she watched him adjust his position and reach out to pet wolf. He was so gentle, and Michaela couldn't stop her mind from wondering what it would be like for his hand to reach out in the same manner and stroke her hair; her face, anything. Other than a few brushes Sully hadn't even come close to really touching her, and despite her best efforts to resist, she wanted him to.

Michaela was unaccustomed to such feelings and felt panicked. What type of woman would think of such things without any declaration from the man? _These sorts of thoughts are reserved for marriage, or at the very least courting. _She thought. _Sully hasn't shown any signs that he is interested in you as more than a friend, and you'd do well to remember it. He's here for the children. _

_**Michaela lifted her head as she felt the rush of cold air hit her skin. The covers were lifted and Sully maneuvered himself into bed beside her. The heat radiated from him and Michaela snuggled in closer. She felt him wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her in closer; she sighed in response. Sully was safe and warm. He kissed her hair and she lifted her chin to look him in the eye. Love radiated from his crystal blue eyes and Michaela felt her heart swell. Never had she dreamed a man could look at her in such a way. Michaela opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by his lips upon hers. A guttural groan escaped her as the kiss intensified. Sully pulled away and smiled. "Dr. Mike…"**_

"Dr. Mike?" Sully repeated.

Michaela sat straight up in bed and flailed for something to grip onto before tumbling towards the floor. In one swift move Sully had caught her and righted her on the bed. Holding on to her shoulders he asked "Whoa there. Ya ok?"

Michaela's face flushed as she remembered her dream. It had seemed so real. His hands now on her shoulders were searing through her nightgown and Michaela began to panic. "What?! I'm fine... What are you doing up? You scared me half to death." She chided.

"ya were moanin. I thought somethin was wrong." He replied innocently.

Michaela's blush grew darker, and she was thankful for the darkened room for she felt sure that one look would tell him what she had been dreaming about. "I'm sorry. You just startled me. I'm fine. Thank you." She replied calmly and laid back. Sully reluctantly released her and moved back towards the fire.

"you sure you're ok? You look flushed. Ya aint got a fever do ya?"

Michaela stammered as she replied. "I am fine…really." _Oh if only he knew. _"oh goodness, I forgot to put the presents under the tree!" she exclaimed as she leapt out of bed. She froze realizing that Sully was now staring at her in her nightgown.

"uh, I'll just… tend to the fire." He said and tore his eyes from the thin material that barely veiled her form.

Michaela hurried to remove the presents from Santa that were hidden under her bed, all the while keeping watch to see if Sully was peeking at her. He remained a gentleman and kept his gaze trained on the fireplace as he placed a new log on the dying embers. Before he was done Michaela was back in bed and covered properly.

"g'night." He mumbled and turned his back to her. Sully was reminded that Michaela was not his to gaze upon. He had to get away from this house. She was seeping into his soul and Sully knew that once she had hold he would never get rid of the ache that had buried itself in his chest. _You had your chance. You promised Abigail that you would love her forever . _

The following morning Michaela woke with a start to Brian's voice. "Look ma! Look! There are presents!" She smiled warmly at him and eased out of bed with a yawn. It didn't take long for her to realize that someone was missing. Sully was gone… again.


	15. Chapter 15

DQMW Ch 15

_Sorry to leave ya hangin. Had a bit of writers block, so I decided to write on something else a bit too to break things up. Also, I'm Sick… again! But, I got a break from the restaurant over the holidays and am feeling much more motivated. _

_I love writing little bits like that last chapter. Makes the series seem fuller. _

_Here we go again, so please Read & Review!_

_-Ash_

Sully had tossed and turned all night envisioning the way her nightgown hugged her hips, or how the swell of her breast was almost revealed when she jumped out of bed. His buckskins grew increasingly uncomfortable and Sully's heart was racing. He had to stop. _This line of thinking is going to get you in trouble. Think about something else… ANYTHING ELSE! I know! Hunting… Think about hunting with cloud dancing. Think about pulling back your bow and aiming it at a doe. Deep breathes. Close your eyes and calm your mind. Steady your hands. Open your eyes and aim… _ He was pulled from his thoughts by wolf whining. Unused to being indoors for long, he too was becoming restless. It was time to go. Cautiously, he rose and folded the blanket Michaela had given him. Would she be angry if he wasn't here in the morning? It was Christmas after all. No matter, he had to go. He was becoming far too attached and that was a bad idea on all fronts. Michaela had been through enough this year as well without him following after her like a lost puppy dog. She needed a friend and that's what he would be. Realizing that he had been standing and staring at her sleeping form, Sully snapped out of his trance and silently slipped out the side door and into the frozen morning.

Michaela finished clearing the table while the children inspected their presents further. With a sigh she stacked the plates and wondered what had chased Sully off. Things had seemed fine last night, and she was sure that he would want to enjoy Christmas morning with the children. Well, if she was honest she had hoped that he would want to spend Christmas morning with her and the children. Perhaps he felt he wouldn't be welcome? She allowed her thoughts to linger for a moment before realizing that the room was silent. She turned and all three children were staring at her like she was crazy. She looked down and realized that she was scrubbing the table with the dish brush. She smiled and went back to the wash basin to finish the dishes. Right then, Michaela decided not to dwell on what Sully did or did not do. He had no tie to her or her children. He was free to come and go as he pleased. If he didn't want to hang around then that was his loss.

With a new resolve Michaela settled back into routine. The children were settling in to life at the homestead, each with their own set of chores that made day to day life possible. Winter was hard, but with the children's help they had survived. The weather was breaking, and Michaela hoped that she would finally be able to start her practice.

Matthew seemed to thrive on the new responsibilities of caring for the animals, and took his responsibility as man of the house to heart. He was growing to respect Dr. Mike for how hard she worked and her willingness to learn. Matthew hitched the wagon in preparation for their weekly trip to town. Michaela, Colleen, and Brian exited the front door in a flurry.

"But ma, he's just a pup. He don't know why he can't come with me. Please ma. Please!" Brian was once again begging to bring wolf with them. The child, seeing how Sully's wolf was always at his heels wanted pup to do the same when they saw Sully again.

"Brian, I'm sorry, but it's just too hard to keep him contained right now. Perhaps when he is a bit older and will listen to you better." Michaela answered with a knowing smile. This would appease him for now.

_Sorry this one's short. I wanted to get the fluff in before starting on the next episode. _


End file.
